Nobody has e-mailed me in days.
(A phrase which used in this context means: The person I’ve been eagerly waiting for a reply from hasn’t e-mailed me and I’m getting kind of squirrely about it.)
I’ve even gone so far as to come up with a reason for said person not to have e-mailed me. I’ve decided that he must be on a camping trip, with no access to technology. This beautiful fantasy prevents me from facing the reality that the reason he hasn’t e-mailed me is because I’m creepy. (And possibly also odious and vile.)
In fact, I so firmly believe that he is camping, that if he ever does e-mail me, I’ll probably respond with, “How was your sojourn in the rugged outdoors?” and then he will definetly think I’m creepy, and also quite possibly on drugs.
Hi,
So, did he ever tell you where he went? I am a little pained, as clearly, I was emailing you during this time that you claim you received no emails. But of course I don’t count
No, he certainly did not tell me where he went. Typical.
I would like you to recall, as I painfully do, that there were in fact several days where you did not send me an e-mail. Thus, during those few days, I did not, in fact, receive any e-mails, thus driving an agonizing blow to my self-esteem.
Sorrow, thy name is Alexandra.