November, 2006

  1. Do you know what today has been?

    November 30, 2006 by admin

    A bad day. I wish I had a friend who would come over, watch a sappy movie with me, and cry with me about life, and the meaninglessness thereof.


  2. I would like to stay home and drink rather than go to choir practice.

    November 30, 2006 by admin

    I am so angry right now about stupid things that happened in class this morning that I think I might cry. I thought going to my yoga class would make me feel better, but instead things have just percolated and I feel much, much worse.

    I just hate, hate, hate it when I disagree vehemently with a professor but feel like I can’t say anything because the material is being presented in such a baised manner that anyone who dares disagree looks like an idiot. So I didn’t say much, and I feel like a shithead for not saying more. What’s worse is that I feel so silenced, and I feel like a hypocrite for allowing myself to be silenced, because all of my academic work right now revolves around issues of voice in young women, and how can I ever hope to write about how to articulate empowered voices, when I have no voice myself?

    I am instead dealing with this issue in a characteristically passive-agressive manner by dropping the class I was going to take next semester with this prof (who needs opera history anyways? It’s not like I’ll ever actually be an opera singer), and picking up something with Dr. Molloy in Comm studies instead.

    Why did I have to pick musicology as my discipline of choice? Is there any discipline in the world that could be any more resistant to progressive change? I am seriously this far away from emailing my favourite musicologist (who is famous and has no idea who I am and whose work was torn apart in class today by people who probably hadn’t even done the reading) and asking her if there is any hope for us at all.

    Also, I miss my friends and I am so sad that I need to stay home and write my thesis instead of going to this weekend’s crafty ladies summit.

    On the bright side, I am very excited about this, and I’m going to submit a paper proposal. Also, New York, which is where I will be in 12 days time. Tiffany‘s, here I come.


  3. Well, Gary Glitter thinks I’m cool.

    November 28, 2006 by admin

    There’s a course called Gender, Sexuality and Glam Rock at a certain graduate institution that shall remain nameless lest I jinx my chances of getting in.

    Right now, my statement of intent reads something like this:

    “Accept me, accept me, accept me and give me loads of money so that I can come and take Gender, Sexuality and Glam Rock. I’m awesome and pretty clever, I promise. I even did alright on the GRE! And did I mention, give me money?”


  4. It’s probably a good thing I don’t have any penpals.

    November 27, 2006 by admin

    Manilla envelopes typically come in packages of four. Whenever I need to mail something in a manilla envelope, inevitably have to buy a new package of manilla envelopes because I can never find any of packages of manilla envelopes I have bought in the past. This means that for every manilla envelope I use, three disappear into the ether, apparently. Or else there is a secret cache of manilla envelopes somewhere in my dungeon of an apartment.

    Postage stamps typically come in books of ten. You can probably figure out where this is going.

    One day, I will find all of my postage stamps, and I will use them to mail myself to Thurston Moore in a giant envelope crafted from thousands and thousands of (found) manilla envelopes.

    Incidentally, my roomates and I are the proud owners of approximately 447 regular envelopes (the white skinny ones) because this one time one of my roomates needed to mail a letter and went to buy an envelope at Office Depot, where the smallest box he could find contained 500. (We are now down to 447 because we have, in fact, mailed a few letters, and Tanya and kind of used a bunch as notepaper for some Fringe-related doings.) If I ever find my missing manila envelopes I could combine all of the envelopes in my house and through a killer Envelope Party, although I’m not sure exactly what this would entail because I think I just invented the concept of an “Envelope Party” but I have failed to come up with a definition for that concept.


  5. Why I’m excited about going to grad school.

    November 22, 2006 by admin

    A week or so ago, in a sudden moment of “gosh, I amuse myself so much” inspiration, I came up with this. This is a list enumerating what kind of boy I will probably meet and carry on a torrid love affair with at each graduate school to which I am applying:

    York: The over-enlightened, straight, white guy getting his Masters’ in Women’s Studies. Dabbles in campus politics, local politics, lobbying, and being charismatic. Needs a haircut.

    Berkeley: Bohemian. Earthy, but not quite a hippy. More like a poet-intellectual-surfer dude. Probably reads a lot of Ginsberg. Actually, probably reads too much Ginsberg. Enjoys granola, but not in excess.

    UCLA: Movie star.

    Cornell: A sub-type of the Sensitive Sweater Man archetype: wears cable-knit sweaters, has a nice beard, is possibly named William. Occasionally will stray from the sweater and dabble in tweed. Older than me, but not in a creepy way. Probably a professor. An English professor. Goes fishing on weekends, alone in a rowboat while reading Walden.

    New School for Social Research: East Village Starvingartist. Skinny, dark floppy hair, CBGB’s shirt (vintage, not a knockoff). Thinks Damien Hirst is so 1990s. Currently working on an art installation that involves carrots, stepladders and thousands and thousands of poker chips.

    McGill: Passionate, violin-playing separatist named Jacques who is generally angry much of the time, and punctuates every angry, impassioned sentence that he speaks with an angry, impassioned, virtuostic flourish of violin. Very self-involved, in a French kind of way. His favourite sandwich is a croque-monsieur.

    I amuse myself far too much.


  6. First, I will go to Tiffany’s and buy diamonds with laundered money.

    November 20, 2006 by admin

    Some people have booked a flight to New York. Some people have booked a room in a hostel in Greenwich Village.

    Some people would like to know: If you had three days to do whatever you wanted in New York, what would you do?


  7. Prima Donna? Pre-Madonna? Sure, whatever.

    November 13, 2006 by admin

    Question: What does one call the place where one votes?

    Answer: A polling station.

    Question: What did the sign on the door of the polling station actually say?

    Answer: “Election Voting Place.” I couldn’t even make this shit up.

    Also, I am currently having the best hair day of my life because I used this free sample of some kind of fancy conditioner from Lush that is made of avocados, yogurt and, oh, I don’t know, probably unicorn saliva or something. It’s amazing. I feel like a mermaid.


  8. Misc.

    November 12, 2006 by admin

    Ok, so, I’ve done something unprecendented and today I told two people about things that I was upset about and I feel kind of weirded out about it because I normally don’t tell anyone anything, but I think if I’m going to stop being angry I have to start talking about being angry. And now I’m feeling kind of emotionally acute, so probably if you try to talk to me I will cry or yell for no reason.

    I have been thinking about quitting singing. Forever. Because I don’t know what I’m doing anymore and I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as I could be or as good as people want me to be. Despite this, last night’s concert went really well and people actually told me I was fabulous (yes, they used my favourite adjective), and I managed to successful not forget any of the words (notable because the words consisted of about ten minutes worth of obscure, archaic Italian dialect about loneliness, Theseus, dying and sea monsters). So, I don’t know. I really don’t know. I think I need to start a band. Actually, that would probably make me feel really good. About lots of things.

    Please go vote tomorrow. Municipal politics are important. And, if you’re in Waterloo, Brenda Halloran is awesome and will be a kickass mayor. I’m voting for her.


  9. What are we over-excited about today?

    November 9, 2006 by admin

    1. This book, which probably was too expensive but is so marvelous, marvlous, marvelous that it doesn’t even matter. I read half of it on the bus home from Toronto. The Stevie Nicks essay alone probably makes this book worth its weight in platinum.

    2. New soap, from Lush, that is apparently made out of mud and roses and makes my skin feel like . . . I don’t even know. Delicious. It feels like delicious.

    3. Lois and Clark, probably.


  10. I heard it through the bass line

    November 8, 2006 by admin

    I have just had this funny realization that maybe I will stop being so angry all the time (because, contrary to appearances, I am generally very angry at any given moment – who knew?) if I stop being so embittered, so I’m going to try something revolutionary and start trying to believe that things that I stopped believing existed actually exist, and we’ll see what happens.

    This is all very experimental. It will probably backfire terribly, but, even in that case, all is not lost, because then I will have new reason to be bitter, and when I’m bitter, I can be highly, highly amusing.

    Also, maybe, somehow, a side-effect of this experiment will be the spontaeneous creation of millions of unicorns.