Bliss.

I almost forgot to tell you about the happiest moment of my entire life.

Let me first contextualize this by saying that my favourite things in the entire world are: avocados, root beer, 1950s diners where I can pretend I’ve just come from a sock hop, Joan Crawford movies, books, charming gentlemen acting charming, and X-Files.

A few weeks ago, when I was soujourning in Celebrity-A-Go-Go Land (known to normal people as Los Angeles), I had this moment that I can quite say without a doubt was the most blissfully wonderful and glorious thing that has ever happened to me.

I was sitting in an authentic 1950s Diner that was called Mel’s Drive-In but bears utterly no resemblance to the travesty of fake-50s-ness that is the Mel’s in Waterloo. This place had actually been there since the 50s and didn’t need any fake Elvis albums on the walls. There were palm trees outside the window. I was drinking a rootbeer float. I was eating an avocado burger (ie: a burger with cheese and bacon and AVOCADO, also known as ambrosia of the gods, on it). The waiter called me babe. I was reading a book entitled “Deny Everything: Reading the X-Files,” which is exactly what it sounds like, a highly nerdy tome consisting of academic essays on the Best Television Show in the History of Everything, that I had just picked up at this really funny bookstore where the clerk asked me, “Still denying after all these years, huh?” It was perfect. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

And then I went next door to the Hollywood History Museum and the first thing I saw was Joan Crawford’s makeup kit.

(Other good things about L.A. include the following: Bus fare is 75 cents.)