1. Life is horrible and everyone you love is going to be taken away from you. On the bright side, you’ll have a successful musical career. Well, at least until you die at the age of 47. On the bright side, your life will make a really wonderful, (almost Lynchian) movie! 2. We were clearly [...]

This is the most important announcement that has ever been announced. Yes, even more important than John Fluevog’s Do You Really Need New Shoes? sale. Thank you, Perez, for bringing this to our attention. Let’s face it, even if this movie is terrible, it’ll be amazingly good. Especially if we moblize our forces and start [...]

This just in! A conversation I just overheard between business students in the concourse! “What’s fair trade?”“Oh, it’s a social policy, not an economic policy. I will now use as much jargon as possible to describe it so that you have no idea what I mean.”“So…fair trade is, like, not buying diamonds from Sierra Leone?”“No…it’s [...]

1. Well, friends, I think that it might be safe to ostentatiously declare that maybe I do live in the best of all possible worlds after all. I say this because on my feet are the world’s most fabulous red Mary Janes (which I have been wearing around the house all day, as I embark [...]