1. Life is horrible and everyone you love is going to be taken away from you. On the bright side, you’ll have a successful musical career. Well, at least until you die at the age of 47. On the bright side, your life will make a really wonderful, (almost Lynchian) movie!
2. We were clearly born into the wrong decade. We clearly should have alive in a decade when bellhops were de rigeur and eyebrows were shaved off and penciled in on foreheads.
3. When you feel so inspired by Edith Piaf’s life story that you venture over to your friendly neighbourhood karaoke/cowboy bar to sing one, single, measly song, the host will forget about your request and lose your little slip of paper with your name on it, even though you have had the following conversation with him, one that strikes one as the kind of conversation that might have been slightly memorable:
“Do you have Walking in Memphis?”
“Um, yeah. We’ve got both versions.”
“Really! For real? You mean you’ve got the Cher version?!?!?”
“Um, no. We’ve got the original and the Lonestar version.”
“Oh.”
So, you will have to remind him about it, but only after sitting through an hour of badly sung Backstreet Boys. After wowing the crowd with an emotionally fraught version of the song (see here for more information on why this song is such an important part of the musical canon – for those with short attention spans, the most important part starts at about 1:55), you will exit the bar in sweeping, dramatic fashion, because what is the point of being Tanya and Alexandra if you cannot exit the bar in a sweeping dramatic fashion?
Also – it’s a wonderful, insular blog party! Gee whiz, guys! It almost reminds me of the days when we had a blogosphere and were all writing about each other all the time. Man, that was great. But anyhow, I bet you’re all really disapointed that you sat around reading Harry Potter illegally off the internet instead of being out with us, showing uptown Waterloo how to have a swell time.