So, today I was at school, ostensibly doing some work, but what I was really doing was planning the concept album that I probably need to record and release. It would be an exploration of a question that has come up time and again in my life, namely: boys. What to do about them?
Songs on this album, inspired both by my experiences and the experiences of my close associates, will include:
Boyfriend-on-Trial!
Hypermasculine Man/Poetic Emo Boy (a new interpretation of the classic duet between myself and Amy)
Hot or Homeless? Who Can Say?
I Deserve More (Than Another Lousy Handjob)
Why Would I Steal Your Dexadrine?
Think Twice (Before Bedding a Conservative)
The Day the Internet Ruined Our Lives
Ballad of the Dutch Fling
I Sent my Love a Paper Crane (But He Didn’t Send One Back)
39 Reasons to Avoid Dating Someone In Your Band (or: Don’t Shit Where You Eat)
I Heard It Through the Craigslist
Cute, Smart, Single, and Emotionally Unavailable
Return Thee to Australia
What is the Point of Saying Wonderful Things if those Wonderful Things are Lies?
What the Margarita Told Me
These are, of course, only the beginnings. I am predicting a double album, at least. With sequels.
hehehe….I love it!
You forgot the always upbeat “I’m So Sorry Your Cat Died (Too bad it wasn’t you)”
“I Just Called to Say (It’s Over)”?
I haven’t heard of any ladies having luck with Conservatives. Right wing conspiracy?
Hurrah! This looks great. I look forward to hearing the remix of Hypermasculine Man/Poetic Emo Boy. May I suggest including “The More I Know You – The More I Like Being Single” on the follow up album.
oh dear god. Alexandra you make my day(s)! I laughed so hard cereal came out my nose. It hurt, but it was a good hurt.
But where’s the charming self-deprecation? At least us guys admit our many and colourful shortcomings in sure-fire hits like the soul anthem “I Know I’m A Lousy Boyfriend (But Good Luck Doo-Doo-Doing Any Better)” – complete with the winning couplets “It’s too late / ’cause now you’re stuck with me” and “It’s me / You lose” – or the tender country ‘n’ northern ballad “I Never Cheated On You (Paying You For The Phone Bill, Anyway)”.
Maybe we could do a split release sometime?
oh pretty, sassy lady. Clearly this album must be made!
I’ll take a t-shirt from the International tour.