Ok. John, you are the maestro of footwear as far as my sad, hobbit-like feet are concerned. But I have a bone to pick with you.
You know, as well as I do, that the shoes in your Operetta and Soprano families happen to fit my feet PERFECTLY. Which is something that has never happened before in the history of shoes. So why, WHY, can you not just give them to me for free, instead of insisting that I pay x amount of dollars for them (where x=anywhere from $249 to $485)?
I want these ones. In black. Because I need a good black shoe. I want these ones. In blue. Because what is the point of a blue shoe? Exactly. That’s why I need them: because they are pointless. And I will take either these boots or these boots, really in any colour, but it would be good if you could just make me a custom pair in a nice eggplanty purple colour. That would be hot, don’t you agree?
Like honestly. Considering the amount of time I spend blogging about Fluevogs, you would think the company would owe me some goddamn boots because of all the free marketing I do for them.
Anyhow, John Fluevog, I take a nine and a half. And I wish you were Santa Claus.