November, 2007

  1. How to be really productive and get piles of work done on that paper that’s due on Wednesday:

    November 10, 2007 by admin

    1. At 3:00, embark on a working field trip with a few, fellow productivity-minded friends to the Getty Center Research Library, which is up high on a hill, far from distractions like, you know, campus and it’s plethora of distracting things to do/opportunities to take breaks from work for coffee.

    2. Spend first hour of field trip in Getty Center Cafe, pondering important imponderable questions, the likes of which have kept graduate students occupied for centuries. (ie: “Who thought up garlic fries? I mean, who thought to themselves, I know, I’ll take these french fries, cover them in garlicky batter, fry them again, and then top them with basically an entire head of minced garlic and Parmesan cheese? Because that person – that person deserves a Ph.D. in Total Awesomness, if they don’t have one already.”)

    3. Finally get to Research Library, one hour before closing time.

    4. Spend entirety of said hour in library text messaging a boy.

    5. Take side trip to Getty Center gift shop, to see if they still have those earrings (silver keyholes with pinup girls inside them) that you should have bought the last time you were here (and are now sold out).

    6. Return to cafe and sit around drinking tea and making fun of undergraduates who think Einstein invented the phonograph (it was actually Edison, but both do start with E, I suppose) until 8:30 at night.

    7. Return home with a profound sense of having gotten so much done.


  2. Poll!

    November 8, 2007 by admin

    I need me a new wallet because my old one is falling apart. It needs to be a ginormous wallet because I carry around a lot of crap and I’m preparing for my future career as a bag lady. Which of these is awesomer? I can’t decide.

    Querty Keyboard wallet?

    or

    Stripey Leafy wallet?

    I like Quiet Doing‘s stuff a lot so I am almost for sure going to make my wallet purchase from her. I’m also thinking of emailing and asking if she could make me a giant wallet with this print and lime green interior.


  3. Oh, and,

    November 8, 2007 by admin

    This is my new favourite blog. I just find it to be really well written and reading it relaxes me. Because apparently I’m in need of relaxation.

    I went to see Across the Universe tonight because I needed a movie date with myself and it was the only thing remotely worth seeing that was playing near me and it was kind of profoundly stupid.

    And, also, according to Ticketmaster, the B-52s show (which I decided was worth the $50) is sold out, so I’m going to try calling the Roxy box office tomorrow, but if this is true, it means that LIFE HAS NO MEANING AND THERE IS NO TRUTH AND JUSTICE TO BE FOUND IN THE WORLD.


  4. My boyfriend’s back and you’re gonna be in trouble.

    November 6, 2007 by admin

    So, in case you haven’t yet heard the excellent, excellent news, here it is:

    There is a new X-Files movie coming out on July 25th, 2008.

    At this point, I would like to quote Tanya:

    X-Files was my boyfriend for a long time, and looking back, I was much better off with it than with any of those human beings. So maybe, X-Files, this is your chance to redeem yourself to Serious Relationship status. You should bring me flowers and funny shaped gifts, and we will dance to Walking in Memphis.

    Yes. Yes. X-Files was my boyfriend, too. And X-Files also treated me much better than any dumb jerk with testicles has ever treated me. In fact, although X-Files has been gone for a little while now, I don’t think X-Files has ever stopped being my boyfriend.

    In fact, I think it’s like this:

    I am like young woman in the 19th Century, and X-Files is like my betrothed. My betrothed, in order to gain enough riches to marry me, has been off on a long sea voyage. I have been waiting for his return since his voyage began on May 19th, 2002. But never once have I given up hope. Never once have I abandoned the dream that X-Files and I would be together again, happily, forever! Every night I have left a lantern burning in the widow’s walk of my house on a cliff overlooking the ocean as I wait and think of my lover’s return. And I have just received word that his ship is arriving in harbour on July 25th, 2008.

    Yes, it’s a regressive, heteronormative metaphor that fails to stand up to feminist critique. But, whatever, you guys, my boyfriend’s coming back.


  5. Sometimes you get bananas that don’t ripen. They just sit around and whiten. I think they are dead bananas.

    November 5, 2007 by admin

    So, some of us have been having a not-so-hot couple of days. (Depressing thoughts of the morning include: Wouldn’t it be better to just be the only human being in the entire world, because then I wouldn’t know how fucking wretched it is to be lonely/perpetually single/pining away in my studio apartment?)

    But, anyhow, something that has been making me feel much, much better are the Complaints Choirs of the World. Clearly, what we have here is the greatest invention in the entire universe. You should probably go and watch the Complaint Choir videos right away – I highly recommend the Birmingham one (“I want my money back! My job’s like a cul-de-sac!”) the Helsinki one (“We always lose to Sweden at hockey and Eurovision!”) and naturally, the Canadian one (“Air Canada sucks! Conrad Black is richer than everyone!”) which also provides an opportunity to finally put a face to Barbara Budd‘s voice because she kinda doesn’t really look like that picture.

    Anyhow. I’ve decided that I’m starting a Musicology Department Complaints Choir. It’ll probably be amazing.


  6. Just when I was worried that I like clothes too much:

    November 3, 2007 by admin

    Yes!


  7. Dear The B-52s,

    November 2, 2007 by admin

    Why do the tickets to your show cost fifty whole dollars? That’s a whole lot of dollars! I want to go, but the idea of fifty dollars makes me die inside. You should probably let me come for free, because not only will I be the best dressed lady at the show, I will also be the best dancer, and I know all of the words to There is a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon).

    Please?

    Love,
    Alexandra

    ADDENDUM:

    Dear Everyone,

    I’ve figured out a solution! You know those adopt-a-child-from-the-third-world-for-a-dollar-a-day thingies? I’m going to start an Adpot a Grad Student Who Pays Too Much Rent campaign! For only…um, about $3.33 a day for the next 15 days, you could sponsor my attendance at the B-52s concert! I’ll even wear a button with your name on it. And I’ll toast you with my gin and tonic. And send you a picture of me and Kate Pierson like totally rocking out. Like, totally.

    Love,
    Alexandra


  8. So, what did you guys do for Halloween?

    November 1, 2007 by admin

    I dressed up as a valium-addicted housewife and wandered down Santa Monica Boulevard with my good friends Doctor Frankenfurter and Danny DeVito as the Penguin and about thirty thousand other people dressed as strange things, got some pizza and went to a Hanson concert.

    And, for the first time in the history of this blog, nothing in the above statement is facetious or veiled in innuendo. That is actually exactly what happened.