December, 2007

  1. Les garçons! Je ne comprends pas.

    December 17, 2007 by admin

    Since we all know how I feel about talking about my feelings, here is a song lyric that I have picked out, to do the talking for me:

    You tell me that you’re busy.
    Your loving makes me crazy.*
    I know that you hear me,
    Start acting like you want me.

    *Given my current opinion on “love” (ie: that it is not real, but rather is a series of falsehoods, based on some stupid metanarrative, designed to make us feel bad about ourselves) I would prefer for “loving” in that line to be substituted with “pretty sweet make-out ability” and “crazy” with “want to make out with you all the time, too bad you never answer your phone and are probably feeding me lies. Oh, well.”

    In sum: what is the point of boys? I don’t even know. I really just want to be given a reason to be less disillusioned.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 5 Comments

  2. Amusing tales from Alexandra, jet-setter.

    December 15, 2007 by admin

    1. The airport shuttle bus driver made a big deal out of telling me I was really beautiful. Like, seriously. He kept going on about me having some kind of glow about me and even consulted with the baggage handler guy about the nature of said glow. (I call it my patented “Actually, gentlemen, it’s 7:30 in the morning I’m running on about four hours of sleep and a half-litre of Earl Grey right now and boy am I looking forward to a fun day of sitting around in an airplane” aura.) It’s interesting to note that I tend to attract this kind of attention from big, burly black men in uniform (bus drivers, bouncers, security guards . . . for more corroborating evidence see here), which is not generally a demographic that I would consider my type, since I historically fall for hipster douchebags who plan to become the next Chomsky and/or Warhol and who attempt to realize this dream by sitting around doing nothing, so I am wondering if I should consider expanding my target market.

    2. I stood waiting, impatiently, for my purse to come out of the security scanner. Oh, purse, where can you be? I thought to myself, mournfully. You contain all of my most important things! Like my boarding pass and passport and my immigration documents and my credit cards and my sparkly explosion lip gloss and my stuffed animal tiger that I have had since the age of seven who always accompanies me on long trips and whom I was carrying in my purse because I don’t trust the checked baggage system and that tiger is my most precious thing! Could you be stolen, purse? All of my other carry-on baggage was through, where could you be? So I asked a security officer. What colour is your purse, she said. Purple, I replied, with birds on it. You mean like the one that is currently hanging off of your right shoulder? She said. Yes. I’m an idiot. I replied. It happens, she countered, sympathetically.

    3. Following the purse trauma I decided some retail therapy was possibly in order, and thus spent the last precious dollars of my grad student stipend for this term on an extravagant and utterly unnecessary tube of Christian Dior mascara at the duty free shop, which, having just tried some on, I can confirm has made my life so much better because it gives me eyelashes that are azure and appear to be approximately a meter long. I can justify this because I am currently at my parents’ house for a while, where life is free, and when I return to Los Angeles, the magical stipend elves will have miraculously replenished my bank balance.

    4. The movie, said the captain over the loudspeaker, will be Love, Actually. Love, Actually! I thought. How is this so? That movie is a few years old and they usually show newer stuff. But the in-flight magazine confirmed that the movie was in fact, Love, Actually. Excellent! I thought. I really haven’t had enough this week of movies with Hugh Grant starring as Standard Hugh Grant Character, and then dancing around like an imbecile. This is going to make my plane riding experience so much better. But then tragedy struck. The movie started and it was . . . Ratatouille. Like, what is the point of that? Do you know who is pretty cute sometimes even though he’s kinda skeevy in real life? Hugh Grant. Do you know who is not cute at all? Anthropomorphic computer animated rats. So instead of watching the movie I read some Irigaray and brooded.

    5. Actually, Irigaray can be much more lucid than I’d ever realized. Unless it was just the alititude.

    6. First stop upon arrival in Canada – Tim Horton’s. How ridiculously typical. And what a wonderful reminder of what a classy place Canada can be. Why, yes, I would like some candy cane-flavoured whipped topping on that hot chocolate.

    Anyhow, yes, I am home! For three weeks! I will be emailing interested parties sometime tomorrow about my impending visits to KW and Toronto, and fun will be had! By all!

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 4 Comments

  3. Oh, nostalgia.

    December 14, 2007 by admin

    So, I was checking out last year’s Fringe pictures today because, damn, I miss having my own theatre festival, and I realized that I remain slightly embittered about the fact that, even though Tanya and I ran the entire festival and there are 164 pictures of said festival, there is only one picture with me in it because I was always running around being busy and important rather than sitting around backstage, and it happens to be this one, which serves as a happy reminder of what happens when bad haircuts happen to good people.

    On the bright side, I distinctly remember that while this picture was taken, I was excitedly talking about X-Files. Which is why I look so happy. Because one can only truly be happy when one is thinking of X-Files. Everything else in the world is tragedy.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments

  4. Finally!

    December 14, 2007 by admin

    A use for Facebook!

    Now that they’ve gotten rid of the “is” part of the status line, I’m just going to use it to give myself ostentatious titles.

    My current status is “Alexandra, Queen of the Universe.”

    This makes me happier than it should. I’m going to bed now.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments

  5. How to write a paper:

    December 14, 2007 by admin

    1. Pick a topic that is super duper ultra hip. Like, for instance, how the music of M.I.A. articulates an activist, transnational voice. (Warning: link may induce epileptic fits.)

    2. Think about it for two months but don’t actually do anything.

    3. Then, spend three weeks researching VERY INTENSELY and reading everything you can possibly find about the topic at hand. Do not actually write anything.

    4. One week before the paper is due, sort of make a sort of outliney thing just so you can say you’ve done something.

    5. Say to yourself, “fuck, man, a week is so much time.”

    6. Five days before deadline, become slightly freaked out about the fact that the deadline approacheth and nothing tangible is done.

    7. Receive word of extension. Rejoice.

    8. Go on field trip to Frederick’s of Hollywood.

    9. Five days before new deadline, become slightly freaked out about the fact that the deadline approacheth and nothing tangible is done.

    10. Say to yourself, “whatever, it’s not like I have anything to do for the rest of the week,” knowing full well that you have SO MUCH TO DO for the rest of the week, in preparation for trip home to Canada.

    11. Have panic attack at inopportune moment, ie: while in a compromising position with a boy. Make him tell you that “Everything will be ok and you will get everything done because you are great.” Realize that you are crazy.

    12. Spend an entire day not working because you are convinced that, despite having done mountains of research, you do not actually know anything at all about the topic.

    13. Four days to deadline, write witty blog post about writing papers.

    Probable next step: Write paper on airplane while seated next to inevitable smelly old man.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 3 Comments

  6. Today is a BEAUTIFUL DAY.

    December 11, 2007 by admin

    Why?

    1. Extension! My paper is due Monday instead of Friday! I will be cursing this fact on Saturday when I am trying to write a paper on an airplane. But it makes my immediate life much less stupid. And it means that on Thursday I’ll have time to go to Frederick’s and get everybody fluffy underwear (no, really) for Christmas!

    2. And . . . actually that`s really the only reason why today is so beautiful.

    Also, I would just like to say: I went to the Singalong Handel’s Messiah the other day, and, clearly, that kind of event is designed specifically for musicians like myself, ie: musicians who get really resentful about ever having to waste time actually rehearsing anything and just would much rather everybody get it mostly right the first time through and don’t understand why people can’t just do that. And we wonder why I never had a successful performance career.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments

  7. Important question:

    December 10, 2007 by admin

    If, say, a certain itinerant musicologist currently residing abroad in La La Land were to show up at Ethel’s Lounge for Tacos on Tuesday, December 19th, would anyone be interested in joining her?

    And, also, would anyone be interested in putting her up in Waterloo for a night or two? And then maybe joining her at Zen Gardens for some sweet and sour lappa on Wednesday and lunch at the communist restaurant on Thursday? And maybe some traipsing about Toronto on Friday followed, possibly, by some dancing?

    Look, you know you have nothing better to do.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 4 Comments

  8. Two important links to brighten your afternoon:

    December 10, 2007 by admin

    1. Classic Cute With Chris this week. And it’s an awesome one.

    2. Just try to convince me that those cats are not photoshopped in. I dare you.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments

  9. Side effect of being a Canadian living in the U.S.:

    December 9, 2007 by admin

    I said “peanut butter and jam sandwich” the other day, and everybody laughed at me.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 4 Comments

  10. Golden Compass movie reviewed, in a nutshell:

    December 7, 2007 by admin

    1. I have no real complaints. Things were cut and changed from the book, as is to be expected, but nothing overtly annoying.

    2. I think they were able to still include some of the anti-religious overtones that make the book so wonderful without pussyfooting around with it too much.

    3. Lee Scoresby was older than I imagined, which is kind of unfortunate because in the book, I had a crush on him, so I wanted him to be hot. I still had a crush on him in the movie, but felt kind of dirty about it.

    4. I would like my very own Ian McKellan bear to have as a pet, mode of transportation, and best bodyguard ever.

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 1 Comment

Older Entries
Newer Entries