It is my birthday in a week and a day. That’s weird. I’m not very good at birthdays. Apparently people throw parties for their birthdays. I have not had a birthday party since I was maybe eleven, because I feel kind of weird and awkward asking people to pay attention to me and celebrate the day I was born. It seems kind of strange and vain. But I don’t think it’s strange and vain when other people hold birthday parties for themselves, so apparently I just have some kind of weird standard for myself that is different than the one I have for the rest of the world. So there will be no birthday party. Because that would be weird. (But the rest of you can have all the parties you want, and please invite me to them.)
There will, however, be a $30 margarita consumed by yours truly at Velvet Margarita. That, I can stand. I will be buying this margarita for myself, in celebration of the fact that I am pretty cool, I think, and I will be officially one year older than my parents when they got married, which seems like some kind of milestone. Kind of like a “Haha! I escaped that cruel fate! My rambling heart shall never wed! Instead I will roam the moors on horseback forevermore! My only lover is the open road!” moment or something. Because who gets married? Seriously. I don’t know about that whole scene.
But anyhow. For my birthday, here is what I want:
1. $30 margarita (check!)
2. A teapot, preferably with polka dots on it, or else shaped like something that is not a teapot (ie: an elephant)
3. A student membership to the American Musicological Society and/or the Society for American Music
4. The Portable Dorothy Parker (specifically that edition because I like the cover)
5. Cardigans, dresses, omigod shoes.
6. A unicorn, motherfuckers! (NOT a triceratops.)
Ok, I am going to school now to learn about The FRENCH. Be afraid.
Okay, when you say a membership to the American Musicological Society, do you really mean a membership to the American Magicians’ Association? I know you do. And damn girl those things are expensive. That will be my present to you when I am working at Google in Santa Monica.
I knew I should have gotten you that elephant teapot. Man they have awesome gifts in Owen Sound.
Alexandra, today is my birthday (the 29th) and I feel the same way you do. I do not want to celebrate it. It IS really weird and vain, but not when other people do it. I like going to parties. Yours in consternation,
-Sherry
Tanya, I think your present for me when you move to Santa Monica should be “Look! I got us a house on the beach!” And then one of us should just take a magician as a lover and he can take us to the Magic Castle whenever we want.
And even though you don’t want to celebrate it, happy birthday, Sherry.