January 10, 2008 by admin
Maybe you’re just jealous that you’re in Canada with snow and without John Lithgow, but the Alexandra and Tanya committee is pretty disappointed that none of you seem to care enough to comment on the previous post (which ONLY CONTAINS TRUTH) about our adventures as Los Angeles socialites. Seriously! John Lithgow! (And also Tom Cruise.) Like, for real.
Whatever. I guess you guys just have better celebrities up there in the frozen north.
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January 10, 2008 by admin
Tonight, Tanya and I hobnobbed with some of Hollywood’s elite. Specifically, we said hello to Diane Keaton at the premiere of her new movie, and enjoyed burgers and pie at a Los Angeles landmark, mere meters away from possibly (or, like, DEFINITELY) John Lithgow.
And then we saw a depressing film, that has made Tanya want to never have children, but luckily our good friend Hugh was waiting for us at home to rescue us from our ensuing bouts of melancholic confusion. Seriously, Guillermo del Toro. Just make me a happy movie with a Hugh Grant musical number in it. That’s all I ask.
(Oh, and also we saw Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes hugging.)
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January 8, 2008 by admin
1. Tanya and I are in Los Angeles.
2. Tanya and I are amazing.
3. Amazing = pretty drunk.
4. We sang some karaoke.
5. Specifically, we sang Science Fiction Double Feature.
6. Spelling is hard.
7. We were wearing zero pants.
8. Someone offered us a record deal.
9. Too bad he was a fat old man.
10. Enjoy this post while you can, because tomorrow when I am sober, I will delete it.
11. Although it’s pretty good already, so probably I won’t delete it.
12. At some point tonight I said something funny. What I said was “Was he cute, or was he a hipster?” That’s pretty funny.
13. And then we ate some leftover pasta. We could have chosen from one of two varieties. We chose variety rigatoni.
14. Tanya says I have a funny internet site.
15. I’m pretty glad they let us into Los Angeles.
LOVE FOREVER,
Alexandra
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January 3, 2008 by admin
Yay! Tanya’s coming back to L.A. with me tomorrow! Amazingness! I can’t wait for the part where we sit around the airport like very important Jet-Setter Type People, with our thousands of laptops and cell phones. (I will be using my laptop to do very important Jet-Setter type things like watching Twin Peaks, which, I’ve decided, needs to be retitled DAVID LYNCH PRESENTS: The Audrey Horne Show!)
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January 2, 2008 by admin
1. Find a jazz bar in L.A. that has an open mic night so that I can pretend to be Billie Holiday or similar.
2. Stop pulling that crazy “look – I still have my wisdom teeth!” open-mouthed smile (that I at some point decided was attractive even though it’s not) that I always pull whenever my picture is being taken.
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January 1, 2008 by admin
More proof that Audrey Horne is my bosom buddy, my kindred spirit, my one and only, the only person on the planet who will ever truly understand how much angst I go through to be me:
I just watched an episode of Twin Peaks in which Audrey, while being held against her will at a saloon-themed brothel, was lying on a bed with her eyes closed repeating over and over again “My special agent! My special agent! Hear me!”
How many times have I lain awake at night, hoping that my own very special agent would come for me? Countless. How many times have I tried to use some kind of mystical psychic phenomenon in order to get in touch with him? Also countless.
Oh, Audrey. You just know. And you’ve got the best dance moves. When I get my saddle shoes, will you be my bff?
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