So I finally got to Clifton’s Cafeteria today (I didn’t go last week because I was shacked up at home nursing my combination sore throat/plugged ear/broken slightly compromised but fixable heart – and I am pleased to report that I am almost all better except for my ears which remain useless), and let me tell you, it is a place where dreams come true (especially if your dreams involve animatronic racoons).
I didn’t take pictures because it felt like church, or something. Like, if I took pictures it would be disrespectful. And this way you all have to come to Los Angeles and I can take you there to see it. And we will probably have a conversation that goes like this:
“Why are we here, Alexandra?”
“Well, obviously because this place is AMAZING.”
“Um, do my eyes deceive me, or do I see five different kinds of jello-based salad over there?”
“See what I mean? This place is AMAZING.”
“Why did you take me out for lunch to a place that took an hour and a half to get to on the bus, where we are now going to be served hospital food?”
“Hey, look at that raccoon!”
“I am never coming to visit you in California again.”
But the food is not the point. The point is that the first two floors of this restaurant are decked out like to look like the redwood forest, with little trickling brooks and fake deer and fake trees and fake bears and a fake pheasant and the aforementioned raccoon. And then the third floor is a slightly dilapidated bus still amazingly awesome fancy deco-style dining room. (Also, the redwood setup reminded me a lot of the dearly departed Smurf village that they used to have at Canada’s Wonderland. Which clearly was the best thing at Wonderland.)
Anyhow, I had gone in planning to have mac and cheese (OBVIOUSLY) but they didn’t have any so instead I had an enchilada and some strawberry pie. The enchilada was really horrible. The strawberry pie was pretty great. Also, I appreciated the way the food was set up, because dessert was both first and last on the buffet. Unfortunately, they had different desserts available at the beginning and end of the buffet, which meant that the first thing I grabbed was the strawberry pie, and it wasn’t until I got to the end of the buffet that I discovered they also had PINEAPPLE pie (clearly amazing), and I wasn’t about to have two desserts so I was stuck with strawberry. But I saw this very clever woman who had three different kinds of pie and that’s it, so clearly that is what I will do next time.
Oh god! I have just found out that the 80-year-old lady who used to own the place was apparently murdered a couple of years ago for no reason. That’s depressing. Anyhow – you should probably go listen to this.
Oh, and look, someone else took pictures. These appear to be from Christmastime, when the place is decked out to be even more awesome.
Yay Clifton’s!
EDIT: I have just discovered that if it is your birthday and you let Clifton’s know two days in advance and have a party of four or more, they will give you a free cake. An entire cake. For free. And you get to pick what kind. This would have been nice information to have, oh, about a week and a half ago when it was my birthday. But whatever – the next time someone I know has a birthday I will clearly be throwing them the best party ever, and hopefully we can get the table right under the moose.