When a certain fellow says to you “the reason I said I was on my way and then half an hour later proceeded to stand you up was because I decided that I couldn’t come for no real reason, but I didn’t want to disappoint you by telling you this so instead I just didn’t show, because, you know, I just hate disappointing people,” what is really going on is this:
1. He does not actually care about disappointing people. If he cared about disappointing people, he wouldn’t disappoint them.
2. He is actually just afraid of people getting mad at him.
3. You would think that, by age 31, some people would have grown testicles. Hmmmmm.
Today’s epiphany was made possible in part by the Dorothy Parker Foundation for Cynical but Fashionable Young Ladies, the Bombay Sapphire Company, and the continuing support of readers like you.