Jacques Cousteau!

1. Dear friends who record songs and things and put them on the internet: what equipment and/or software do you use? I need to put my songs on, like, myspace, or something, like all the cool kids do, and instantly get a huge record deal if I ever hope to get Boyfriend on Trial, my concept album, out in this lifetime. Seriously though – any recommendations?

2. Go listen to Cadallaca! I cannot properly express how happy they make me. And, damn, they make me want to get a farfisa and start me up one of those new-fangled “rock and roll” bands.

3. A Spinster is coming to visit me in a matter of weeks! I baked a bundt tonight (traditional repast of the Spinster) in excitement. I look forward to hours of spinsterly fun, hopefully involving various spinsterly customs, including but not limited to: drinking margaritas out of pineapples, consumption of bundt, attending cultural events whilst intoxicated, channeling Fraulein Maria, getting belligerently drunk and cat-calling Messianic percussionists, lolling.

4. I really want . . . to watch Deadwood. By which I mean, I really want to bed sheriff Seth Bullock. Also, I have been thinking about getting cowboy boots, a completely irrational impusle, because what clothing to I own that would look good with cowboy boots? No clothing. Oh, gee, it must be spring because my annual cowboy fixation has returned.

5. At last count, I currently have wicked mad crushes on no fewer than four (4) Highly Unsuitable Men. (Reminder: The only men who do not fall into this category are Sensitive Sweater Men, who, as we all know, are rarer than the unicorn, and twice as elusive.)

6. And, in celebration of the fact that I miraculously got an A in France is Aggravating Class, even though I’m still not quite sure what the big deal was with that Dreyfuss Affair thingy, I leave you with the dulcet tones of my husbands, Brett and Jemaine: