1. I had a really vitally important epiphany today, which has resulted in me inventing a new relationship classification for myself, that is based in part on my extensive experience as a practicing quirkyalone; in part on my resentment over the fact that even though I like being single, I feel a strange pressure to date; in part on the fact that the past few months have borne witness to a number of remarkably catastrophic dating disasters (Lying, unavailable “boyfriends!” People who seem cool but are waaaaayy too into reggae! Twenty-seven year old virgins!); and in part on my realization that said disasters could possibly be attributed to my strange predilection for hipster douchebags and Chuck Klostermans. I have decided that my new status is SINGLE BUT UNAVAILABLE. And I like it. I like it sooooo much. I feel newly liberated and like the weight of the world is no longer mine to bear. Thank the fucking lord.
2. I have just written the following phrases while taking notes on an article about music on the Sunset Strip (and I am a musicologist, therefore these are indisputably true musicological facts):
“Lou Adler wore interesting hats. Michelle Phillips says so.”
“protest a-go-go?”
“Brian Wilson, professional sadsack”
“And meanwhile . . . Phil Spector is a sociopath!”
3. Aside from that creepy and unnecessary clown, this makes me happy in a largely unironic way.
4. And this makes me happy that someone invented the concept of Cute, Awkward, Canadian Indie Rock and Roll Boys:
And with that, I bid you goodnight.