Things that are fairly excellent

First, some business: There’s been a substantial update over at The Inebriated Spinster! You should probably go read it.

Now! On to Things that are Excellent!

1. The Silent Movie Theatre! On Saturday I was feeling more full of ennui than usual (possibly the result of my sudden realization that I felt more guilt about throwing out an almost-empty bottle of teriyaki sauce when I was cleaning out the fridge the other day than Arne will ever feel about hurting me and lying to me and ruining the lives of pretty much every woman he has ever met), and so I thought to myself, I must away from this apartment! I must do something with myself! Luckily for me, the Silent Movie Theatre was screening Gilda as their Saturday matinee. So I went and displaced all of my angst onto Rita Hayworth and left feeling better times about a million. Oh, Silent Movie Theatre. Oh, Rita Hayworth. Thank you both for being there in my time of need.

2. Wonder Woman! Seriously, guys, have you ever watched this show? It is awesome. It is awesome because the plot is usually best summed up as “Wonder Woman saves Stevetrevor‘s stupid ass from the Nazis.” Also, I realized today that Wonder Woman has one up on Superman, because Wonder Woman actually has two secret identities! Wonder Woman is actually Princess Diana of Paradise Island, but in America she is either Wonder Woman or bespectacled Yeoman Diana Prince, both of which are assumed identities. Oh! Also! Wonder Woman doesn’t need a phone booth to change in, she just spins around in a circle and then WOW! She’s Wonder Woman! Also, she does this hilarious thing where she grabs at her stomach after her transformation as though to double-check that she still has a midsection.

3. My eyebrows at the moment! I have rockstar eyebrows! By rockstar eyebrows, I mean of course that I do not have a hedgerow growing on my forehead, which, unfortunately, is often the reality because I have a bad habit of letting that whole situation get slightly out of hand. The way I feel about plucking my eyebrows is the same way I feel about, say, cutting my own bangs, or bearing children: yes, I can do these things, but should I do these things, the results will clearly be disastrous. Therefore I feel that these things are best left to professionals, and, in the case of bearing children, people who actually have an iota of maternal instinct. But anyhow, I went to Vinita’s in Westwood today and got threaded and it was awesome and fast and cheap and everyone says threading hurts, but it really didn’t hurt at all (says the girl whose favourite cocktail is made of tequila and tabasco sauce). So basically, ladies, get thee to a threading studio.

4. My new neighbourhood! Firstly, the aforementioned Silent Movie Theatre is within walking distance. Secondly, so is Trader Joe’s. Thirdly, I can now go for hipster coffee without devoting my entire day to the trip because the bus ride is about half as long. Fourthly, communist Chinese delivers to my new address. Fifthly, I can walk to the Melrose Trading Post on Sundays. Sixthly, and perhaps most dangerously, I can walk to the Fluevog store.

Also, sample conversation with my mother:
“I love my new neighbourhood!”
“That’s good . . . but is it safe there?”
“Sure! It’s all rich gay men.”
“Oh, ok . . . but you won’t meet anybody!”
“That’s the idea.”

5. Mineral water! Pretty excellent.

6. Typography! I just really like typefaces. I’m reading a really great book on typography right now. I’ve decided that my summer self-improvement project is to learn everything I can possibly learn about typography. Currently my favourite typeface is Mrs. Eaves, both because it is a really nice, elegant font, and because it has a neat, feministy history.

7. Sarah Haskins! Holy crap, this woman is funny and I kind of have a ladycrush on her. Watch this! And this! And this! Ms. Haskins, I foresee greatness in your future.

8. MC Lyte! I also kind of have a ridiculous ladycrush on MC Lyte. She is just awesome. She is on the Grammy committee and is currently campaigning for them to reinstate the Female Rap Performance category because it was eliminated a few years ago because apparently there just aren’t any female rappers. Um, right. Because there are no women in hip hop. Also, how good is this song? SO GOOD.

9. Postcards from Yo Momma! My current favourite time-waster. And this is my current favourite postcard from yo momma.