1. Cafe Audrey. What a fantastic place.
2. The Cute and Earnest Barista at Cafe Audrey.
Oh, Cute and Earnest Barista at Cafe Audrey. How cute are you? Impossibly so. I have decided to add something to my list of summer projects: Foster an enormous crush on the Cute and Earnest Barista at Cafe Audrey. This will largely entail me going to Cafe Audrey, frequently, to read a book, while trying coyly to make eye contact with the Cute and Earnest Barista, and probably failing. But you seemed so actually, genuinely happy to see me today, Cute and Earnest Barista, which is weird, because I’ve only been in once before, but is it possible you remembered me, on account of I’m so charming? I will choose to believe this, for it makes me glad. Probably you have a very thin girlfriend who looks good in belted American Apparel dresses, and is vapid and lame, but as long as I do not know this fact, I will continue to work on my healthy crush, shielded by my propensity for massive amounts of self-delusion.
In case you were wondering, my list of summer projects in addition to Project Cute, Earnest Barista includes the following:
1. Write a paper about Amy Winehouse, Dusty Springfield, and their respective hairstyles (this is in fact, my official summer project, for which they are paying me the big bucks),
2. Revise my paper on music in war video games, with the goal of possibly maybe trying to get it published,
3. Learn a lot about typefaces,
4. Curb my caffeine addiction, (a project that will probably run directly counter to Project Earnest Barista, but what can you do?)
5. Write and record a concept album (the concept we are going with is: “Boys – wtf? An attempt to gain understanding by playing sad songs on the ukulele.”),
6. Wear lots of summer dresses,
7. Eat lots of peaches from the farmer’s market,
8. Finally break in those kickass wedge sandals that I bought last fall,
9. Make out with a boy, possibly an Earnest Barista, hopefully more than once. Goodness, I need to make out with a boy. It will happen! It is summer! The season for making out with boys! I brazenly make this statement despite the dearth of summer makeouts (one might, in fact, call it a “makeout wasteland.” As in, “I live in a makeout wasteland, wherein there is no making out to be had, except for that one hilarious time at the Dance Cave, but I can’t keep reliving that slightly gross but somehow glorious moment for the rest of my life, now can I?”) that has generally been characteristic of my lived experience.
COMPREHENSION EXERCISE:
Use the following terms in a sentence that demonstrates their meaning.
1. Cute, Earnest Barista
2. Makeout wasteland
3. Dance Cave
7 Comments
I have a problem with number 5. If you record your album in the summer, it means I can’t play ukulele on it! Postpone, please!
I would like to read this paper on music in war video games! I think I am going to try and work for a video game company.
1. The cute, earnest barista smiled while gliding his fingers down the shaft of his steam wand, expertly steaming my cup to a velvelty froth.
(This is probably the best sentence I have ever written.)
2. Despite the crowds of scantily-clad undergraduates, Waterloo Ontario Canada is a makeout wasteland – for anyone with class.
3. She bared her right nipple at the Dance Cave last Saturday night.
(Non-fiction.)
Which games are you using? Do you mean war as in strategy/tactical games, or games based on actual wars like Call of Duty?
re: Concept album
Ok, well, I will at least write my concept album. I might also call on you for cello duties! This concept album is going to be hilarious.
re: Video games
I’d be happy to send along a copy of my paper, if you’re interested. I’ve been mostly using the Medal of Honor series – I’m interested in games that purport to reproduce actual events in actual wars, and Medal of Honor claims to represent a certain amount of verisimilitude, and also draws really explicitly from cinematic conventions. And there’s been a pretty big deal made of the soundtracks – they’re very film-soundtrack-like, you can get them on cd, and there was actually a concert in LA for memorial day where they played a suite of pieces from the soundtrack. I’m interested in how music plays a part in how these games construct history and memory, and who is memorialized and who is ignored. I also looked a bit at the Battlefield series, because I’m really interested in how players can customize their soundtracks in Battlefield: Vietnam, and sort of construct their own war narratives.
re: Comprehension exercise.
1. That is possibly the best sentence I have ever read. Let’s get it on t-shirts.
2. TRUE. So true. Here is a variation: “Despite the fact that it is a surging mass of humanity, Los Angeles, California is a makeout wasteland – for anyone with class.”
3. Were you wearing a corset?
A++. Good job.
I would be interested in reading your paper.
I’m surprised an event outside of the videogame community made use of the music, I mean, the soundtracks aren’t as popular here as they are overseas and usually it’s like a VGL scenario where they get the live treatment.
I would love to have you read it, actually – I’d really like someone who’s more familiar with videogames than me to tell me what they think and if I’m off the mark anywhere. There’s a bit more editing I want to do, but then I’ll send it to you.
I was really surprised to hear about the concert, too. It was a local symphony orchestra, and I think they had the composer there conducting.
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