I think we can work things out. Together. Just you and I.
August, 2008
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Look, David Duchovny.
August 28, 2008 by ms. xandra
Category X-Files | Tags: | 3 Comments
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So, I just watched Bill Clinton speak at the DNC,
August 27, 2008 by ms. xandra
and I have two things to say:
1. I would like some musicologist to do an interesting, cogent reading of the choice of popular songs used between speakers, and, like, class/race stuff. Just because it would be fascinating and because I would do it myself except that I’m still on holiday. And also I feel like I’m at a total disadvantage when it comes to American politics anyhow, and because I only watched enough of the convention to catch “Chain of Fools” and “Don’t Stop.”
2. American politics are so much more exciting than Canadian politics! Everybody is so earnest and excited and waving flags and dancing around! I feel like Canadians would be vaguely embarrassed at the thought of exhibiting such behaviour. I mean, I love Jack and Olivia as much as the next dyed-in-the-wool NDP voter, but we all know that it’s sort of an ironic love. I don’t think any of us would dance to soul music for Jack. And I really don’t think we have politicians who are charismatic enough to command that kind of enthusiasm. I mean, I really loved Jean Chretien, but mostly because dude talked out of the side of his face and was kind of bumbly and incomprehensible and hilarious*, not for any real, substantial reasons. And Paul Martin was boring and Stephen Harper is obviously a reprehensible, cruel, devious human being, who also has the distinction of looking like a child molester. And remember back in the late 1990s when This Hour Has 22 Minutes was really good and they just managed to make most Canadian politicians look like laughable idiots? I remember those days. Those were good days. I still sort of have a hard time believing that Stockwell Day, Creationist, is an actual, real person, and not just some character that Rick Mercer invented.
So I guess, even if Canadian politicians aren’t exactly exciting, they really do succeed at being hilarious caricatures of themselves.
*This video is hilarious, go watch it. “For me, pepper, I put it on my plate.” Oh Jean, you jackass.
Category Canadialand, Politics | Tags: | No Comments
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In case you care,
August 27, 2008 by ms. xandra
You can listen to my secret* lover’s radio show here! With all the music cut out for legal reasons, but still. It’s wonderful and amazing.
And what is with that picture of him? He looks like…well, he sort of has a “I’m a mature and yet still attractive Backstreet Boy in my crisp white shirt” thing going on. And I can’t decide if it’s a joke. Like, are his eyes seducing me? Or are they making fun of me? Sean, why do you insist on filling me with such conflicting feelings?
It doesn’t matter. I still love you. Remember me when you make it big.
*”secret” because…he doesn’t know about us. Yet.
Category Canadialand | Tags: | 2 Comments
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Good heavens.
August 25, 2008 by ms. xandra
I am ridiculously sick with Mystery Ailment, and thus my vague plans to descend on Toronto before I head back to California are shelved. My glands! They are the size of…large round things. I’m sorry. My wit fails me in my delirium.
Also, as a result of my delirium, I am incapable of reading anything other than children’s literature because everything else makes my brain hurt. This unfortunately means that my plans to get through a stack of pretentious books (see sidebar) have also been shelved, but I’m really not that disappointed because I’ve worked my way through the Louise Fitzhugh catalog and tomorrow I plan to start on Patricia C. Wrede. Louise Fitzhugh is funny – there are times when her novels definitely come across as products of their time and sometimes there is some weird race/class stuff that makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable (especially in The Long Secret) but I can generally move beyond these issues, because her young, female protagonists, have such genuine character and really manage to speak to my Quirkyalone condition even though they are all around eleven years old. They’re all these quiet, smart girls who don’t fit in anywhere and read books and write a lot, which is kind of what I was like as an eleven year old. I have re-read Harriet the Spy SO MANY TIMES, and for some reason there are parts in it now that make me cry and cry and cry that never used to, and I love it so much and Harriet is my favourite fictional character ever, hands down.
Anyhow, my mother thinks my Mystery Ailment is a result of me doing too much gallivanting about and not enough resting while I’ve been in Canada, so here is my plan for when I come home next summer: I am going to sit in the backyard with a pitcher of margaritas. And you can all come to me. And my dad will make us pizza in his pizza oven and we will get good and shitfaced and it will be amazing.
Category Books, Summer | Tags: | 4 Comments
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‘Tis the season for having a less shitty blog
August 24, 2008 by ms. xandra
It’s my new, fancy, internet home! I am currently working out some kinks, and wrestling over some important decisions (serif or sans serif typefaces?), so please bear with me as I get settled.
I also have a new blogging project that I will hopefully be getting off the ground in the next week or so – it will be my Professional Alexandra Blogging About Interesting Music and Politics-Related Things blog. You know, as opposed to this blog, which is my Self-Absorbed Alexandra Complains About Boys blog.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 6 Comments
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Radio Gaga
August 23, 2008 by admin
TANYA! It was amazing! This morning on CBC radio, my secret lover (Sean Cullen) was interviewing your secret lover (Matthias Kom)! I even called you to tell you about it, but you were probably sensibly sleeping. I almost drove off the road, because I am not good at cars and phones at the same time. Reckless driving: DON’T DO IT, KIDS. But anyhow, it was really magical. Did you know that Matthias has written a musical of Macbeth, and is currently working on one based on The Winter’s Tale? Sean suggested he should also do a musical of Titus Andronicus, and improvised a line from what will surely be Titus: The Musical’s hit song “They cut off my hands! But I’ve got some branches!” And then Sean made Matthias participate in a radio play that Sean had written that morning and that Matthias hadn’t seen the script for yet, and Matthias got to play a man with an instrument that looked like a cross between trumpet and a corkscrew that would suck out the souls of radio interviewers. And then Sean asked Matthias to massage him with some pudding and then played a White Stripes song.
I am also now really depressed, because your secret lover is playing in Toronto on the 25th, and my secret lover is playing in Toronto (at the Drake, how hip) on the 26th, and I will be in Port Elgin on both nights, playing sad ukulele songs, all alone.
Why didn’t anyone get me a giant flying dirigible for Christmas? Then all of my problems would be solved.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 3 Comments
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Why? Why is there a giant rash covering most of my body? Why?
August 22, 2008 by admin
I have this horrible feeling that the answer might be: Alexandra is allergic to tequila.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 3 Comments
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Je voudrais un croissant
August 19, 2008 by admin
1. Sometimes I forget things. Like, sometimes I forget about this song, and how it is amazing, and how clearly the Arrogant Worms are early adopters because they were singing dumb songs about pirates before pirates were hip. We were listening to Semi-Conducted on the way home from the folk festival, and decided that, while Canada cannot really be said to have a national musical style, verily, this song is a Canadian classic, representative of the best This Nation has to offer.
2. So, Vanity Fair has declared Carla Bruni to be the new Jackie O., and, along a similar line, I would like to brazenly make the statement that, should he win the election, Obama will be the new Pierre Trudeau, a reference that none of my American friends will get.
3. I’ve realized that my writing process seems to involve a lot of pacing about.
4. I love the coffee shop in Port Elgin. I love it because my often-elusive London Fog is actually a menu item. I love it because the coffee is great. I love it because it is easily holding it’s own against the mediocre, corporate-owned, Starbucks-wannabe franchise coffee shop across the street from it, which, in turn, renews my faith in the citizens of Port Elgin. And also yesterday when I went a nice man paid for my coffee for no reason other than I AM SO CHARMING, YES FRIENDS, IT IS TRUE.
5. It seems that all of my former co-workers who were horrible and mean to me during my brief stint slinging shitty coffee at Tim Horton’s a few years back are now employed at the new Shopper’s Drug Mart and are, yes, still stuck in Port Elgin, which, let’s face, it, is kind of a shitty place, good coffeeshops notwithstanding. This renews my faith in karma.
6. Dear LA County Sheriff’s Office and/or LAPD and/or Batman (but mostly Batman): Please fix the minor crimewave that appears to be occurring near my neighbourhood before I get back next weekend. Thanks.
7. I am working on a super-duper blog makeover! And it is going terribly, probably because I always get ideas like “it’s time to completely redesign my blog!” while I am drinking homemade margaritas. Yay! Yay for terrible! Yay for tequila!
8. Bless me, father, for I have sinned: I really liked Mamma Mia.
9. I think I might have a tapeworm.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments
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Why I love my Spinster Sisters:
August 14, 2008 by admin
Who else will accidentally drink an entire 1.5 litre bottle of wine with you? Who else will do this with you at the beach? Who else will then join you in the water for an aquatic Abba’s Greatest Hits/Fraulein Maria/Good King Wensceslas singalong?
I look forward, with bated breath, to Spinster Retreat 2010: NYC, which will probably involve such activities as “Spinsters drunk at the Met,” “Spinsters drunk in Saks 5th Avenue,” and “Spinsters drunk at MOCA.” And probably also “Spinsters drunk and lost, way to go, team.”
In the meantime, tomorrow I am off with my boxwine (Official Beverage of Camping at Music Festivals with Hippies) to yet another hippie music festival where I will be camping, and probably complaining a lot, but still having a pretty great time. Last year’s theme at Summerfolk was “Alexandra gets hit on, creepily, by food vendors.” I am hoping this year to upgrade to “Alexandra gets hit on, charmingly, by performers.” Please tune in next week for a full report.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments
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Oh, Lily Bart!
August 8, 2008 by admin
I am re-reading The House of Mirth, which is probably a bad idea, because reading this book fills me with angst and turmoil because I know how it ends and I know that it does not end well, and no matter how much I wish it, I know the ending won’t change, and it is just such a frustrating book, because, of course Lily has to marry someone even though clearly she doesn’t actually want to marry anyone except for maybe Lawrence Selden, but I personally believe she doesn’t actually want to marry him anyhow, and just wants to be a fashionable, single, Lady-About-Town forever which is plainly impossible in turn of the century high society, but at the very least makes me grateful that I can remain a fashionable, single, Lady-About-Town forever, thank god. And I just want to punch Selden in the face because I feel like maybe he is a prototypical Chuck Klosterman*, only slightly more refined.
Also, there is a big move afoot regarding this blog. And a new Professional Alexandra blog is forthcoming. I have decided to get serious about blogging. Well, not that serious, really. Just fancier, and with a domain name. And designs for internet-wide domination. Stay tuned, kids.
*Defined as being that guy who you’re friends with who makes out with you a bunch of times but doesn’t actually want to pursue anything more serious because he actually just dates vapid blondes.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: | No Comments
