March 30, 2009 by ms. xandra
that I was someone’s Bizarro World missed connection the other day – the ad’s expired now so I can’t post a link, but basically it said something to the effect of “you, redhead, left your apartment on Laurel and headed north. You were wearing blue tights and a white sweater. It was 10:30.” The morning in question, I, redhead, left my apartment on Laurel and headed south. I was wearing blue tights and a black sweater. It was 9:30.
BIZARRO WORLD! It’s here! It’s now!
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March 30, 2009 by ms. xandra
1. Dear every straight boy on the internet: Your favourite books are Fight Club and The Fountainhead? Seriously? And this is why I have renewed my commitment to spinsterhood.
2. I just dyed my favourite skirt purple because it was old and kind of strangely discolored after the Epic Turmeric Disaster of a few months ago. Now it is purple and significantly awesomer. Predictably, though, this science project resulted in my fingers being dyed purple, which is unfortunate, but a small price to pay for being an extraordinarily fashionable young lady.
3. So, Sir Roommate and I started watching Battlestar from the beginning a while ago (NO SPOILERS, JERKS! We only just finished season 2). And Galen Tyrol quickly emerged as my favourite character because he is SO CUTE in that Seth-Rogen-Before-He-Lost-Weight kind of way, and then in the last episode that we watched, he grew a beard! And got glasses! And became a labour organizer! Which is just . . . really hot. I just want to, like, make little unionized babies with him. And I would link to a picture except that I cannot google anything BSG-related, lest I accidentally find out something that I don’t want to find out yet. Our relationship is SO COMPLICATED, GOSH.
4. Do I seriously have to go back to school this week? Shit.
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March 30, 2009 by ms. xandra
Like, a whole bunch of stuff!
First, I wrote a paper about outer space and the B-52s, but you already knew that. For various roundabout reasons, the research process for this paper involved listening to Les Baxter’s Moog Rock, which is a horrible album. Too bad, Les Baxter. Less horrible but still horrible and yet wonderful is Space Escapade, which you can download here in its entirety because this is the kind of repertory that people geek out over and then put on the interwebs to share with everybody.
And then! VV and I went to explore LA’s Chinatown, which, like most things in this city, is a strange, fake place, and we visited every bakery, read some historical signs, were creepily propositioned by a man in a car who was either asking if we knew where he could park or if we were married, and, discovered the Ooga Booga store, which is a shop where hipsters go to sell zines, mix tapes, and ceramic french fries. And then we ate dinner at Phillipe’s and then we found the giant donut in South Central! HERE IS PROOF:
Nice. And also, on the way home, we passed Mr. T’s Meat Market, which seriously exists. Here is more proof, in the form of a blurry photo taken from a moving car:
See what ends I go to to document weirdness for you all?
And then! Last night we went to the theatre. We saw Serial Killers at Sacred Fools, which, seriously, was kind of like if that ol’ Fringe Festival of ours did a show every week – ie: mostly it was crappy and a tad offensive, but there was this really good play called A CAT WROTE THIS PLAY! which was totally great and made up for it. We are going back next Friday for Magnum Opus Theatre, which sounds like a pretty important invention.
Other things I did: went to every vintage store in town, drank a lot of coffee.
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March 21, 2009 by ms. xandra
“Does the phrase ‘lushly orchestrated neo-Romantic beguine’ make sense to you? PS: I just taught my phone how to spell beguine.”
“Sounds lovely! Beguine! Now mine can say it too!”
“Good! Thanks! And now our phones can listen to Cole Porter together!”
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March 21, 2009 by ms. xandra
(A mutant thing, but still, a thing.)
(I do, however, remain dubious about a berry that needs to be explained using a flowchart.)
Other important news: I have just managed to work the phrase “Outer Space is for Lovers” into an academic paper; I have therefore reached the pinnacle of my academic career and they should just give me the damn Ph.D. so we can all go home.
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March 20, 2009 by ms. xandra
Violet Vixen and I went to go see my newbestfriend Charles Phoenix‘s show last night in fashionable Pasadena, and my, did we have a time. I think Charles is maybe starting to recognize me as Weird Girl Who Dresses Like It’s 1957 and Comes to All His Shows because he patted me on the shoulder when he walked past me after the show and said “Now, did ya like that?” ANYHOW, thus inspired,we (ie: VV and I, not Charles Phoenix and I, although he is certainly invited) are planning a Grande Toure of all of Los Angeles’ greatest kitsch – the working list of locales is here, and if you have any contributions, please advise. (I just now remembered Pie ‘n Burger,which I would like to add to the list. WHAT IS OLLALLIEBERRY PIE??? We must go there and solve the mystery!)
And then after the show we tried to find a giant donut.
“We could find the one on Normandie! It’s . . . somewhere . . . on Normandie. In South Central. We could just drive down Normandie until we see the donut.”
“Drive down Normandie until we see the giant donut. Into South Central. At 11:00 at night.”
“Ok, nevermind.”
So we tried to find the one by the airport. But it was literally NOWHERE. So probably it is like Brigadoon, in that it only appears once every 100 years, only instead of “once every 100 years” it appears “only when you are driving home from LAX.” (And speaking of LAX, we should add dinner at the Theme Building to the adventure list.) So we decided to go for pie instead, and then on the way to pie, at the corner of La Brea and Washington, some dudes rode past us on some horses, because that’s, like, totally normal.
And the pie was green and delicious, and I learned what a pot of postum is, and, quite frankly, I could probably have done without ever finding out about postum because it sounds needlessly awful.
Category Adventure, Los Angeles | Tags: | 3 Comments
March 14, 2009 by ms. xandra
Are you on twitter? If so, you might be interested to know that Tanya and I have a new project going (as of about 1:00 am last night when I thought of it) called SANDWICHBLOG, wherein we are using twitter to tell you what kinds of sandwiches we eat. We have started this project because I realized that most of the emails Tanya and I send each other are about sandwiches. Which is an occupational hazard, I guess, if you’re a girl whose vocation is “Sandwich Eater.”
THIS IS WHAT THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED FOR!
Category Food, Internet | Tags: | 1 Comment
March 10, 2009 by ms. xandra
Hey! So, in honor of I Was Up Half the Night With an Existential Crisis (and, be honest, weren’t we all?), I am celebrating INTERNATIONAL BE 17 YEARS OLD DAY, which is a made-up holiday that I invented just now.
I am celebrating International Be 17 Years Old Day by wearing black eyeliner and listening to Weezer!
Amy is celebrating International Be 17 Years Old Day by dressing all in black and reading Camus!
Tanya is celebrating International Be 17 Years Old Day by having pizza and a chocolate bar for lunch and then instant messaging all afternoon with her boyfriend instead of working!
OTHER SUGGESTED WAYS TO CELEBRATE INTERNATIONAL BE 17 YEARS OLD DAY*:
1. Write a shitty poem and publish it in your high school newspaper!
2. Learn to play the bass guitar!
3. Spend your lunch hour in the art room!
4. Pass driver’s ed!
5. Stay up until 1 AM on Friday so you can watch The Wedge!
6. Watch Ghost World for the 19th consecutive time!
7. Read an Anne Rice novel!
8. Discover Sonic Youth, have mind blown!
9. Play hide-and-seek at the Walmart!
10. Be jealous of all those kids who aren’t virgins!
11. Sit alone in your room and cry!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO CELEBRATE INTERNATIONAL BE 17 DAY??
*All actual things I did at age 17 while my peers were binge-drinking in the forest.
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March 9, 2009 by ms. xandra
1. On the bus today, headed towards Hollywood and Highland, I overheard the Jesus impersonator talking to the Haunted Tour of Hollywood tourguide. There has been drama, it seems, amongs the people who dress as characters and pose for pictures with tourists in front of the Chinese Theatre. There was once only one Superman, now there are two. And Old Superman (“Christopher Reeves Superman”) punched New Superman (“Dean Cain Superman”) in the face.
2. Bathroom graffitti I saw the other day that really wouldn’t be at home in any other city: “Trevor does his own stunts.”
3. This post-it note – which I found on the counter in front of the teller’s window at the bank at Sunset and Vermont – now lives inside my wallet, because it is the number one, best ever piece of found art:
DARE TO DREAM, LOS ANGELES.
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March 7, 2009 by ms. xandra
So, I just wanted to let you know that we decided to try turning the donut pulp into donut ice cream. It is in the freezer. I put Amaretto in it. There is only one way this experiment can end: AMAZINGLY.
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