Holy crap! That’s ONE WEEK!
Dinosaur of the Day: Troodon! (with optional umlaut over the second o.)
He blinded me with science: “I am currently developing plans to launch a satellite into orbit around the earth,” said Felix, a wily Troodon with a British accent. “If everything goes as planned, I should be able to use it to emit a radio signal that will alter the brainwave patterns of all of the Allosaurs on the planet. I shall then have full control over them. Imagine. A full army of Allosaurs at my command. Those damned Velociraptors won’t know what hit them. They’ve gotten it into their tiny little brains that they’re the most intelligent dinosaurs. Well, let me tell you, a starring role in a Spielberg film does not equate to intelligence. They’re nothing but flash, with no substance. They’ll learn someday very, very soon who REALLY has the largest dinosaur brain (relative to body size), and they’ll be sorry. And then I will take over the WORLD.”
“It’s all in the opposable digits, you see. I told my friend Rosa, she’s an Ankylosaurus, I said, ‘Rosa, you really ought to evolve yourself some of these. They’re the damndest things.’ I’m one of the only dinosaurs that has them, you know. They make cracking open a juicy Camarasaurus egg so much easier. And it goes without saying that make working in the lab so much easier. I can’t imagine how difficult it would have been to assemble that satellite without them. Thank the maker for those opposable digits, I say. Without them I would never be able to take over the world.
“Yes, the name Troodon means ‘wounding tooth,’ a stupid human misnomer. The serrated edges on our teeth have nothing to do with wounding; they make it easier to eat salad. I, personally, think that an omnivorous diet is a clear marker of worldliness and sophistication, which obviously indicates my fitness to rule the world.”
He came from planet dinosaur: “And speaking of human stupidity. PLEASE do not give the time of day to that utter crap about Dinosauroids. You’ve heard of this, I presume? Some idiot scientist in Ottawa seems to think that Troodons could evolve into some kind of humanoid-lizardman. It’s bollocks. I’m already perfectly evolved. I was, after all, sent from space, where a community of similarly perfect Troodons eagerly awaits my return. After I assume control over the Allosaurs of Earth, my next project will be to construct a craft of gargantuan size, in order to transport my monstrous army through the galaxy. I may have to first brainwash the sauropods so that I may enslave them to assist with construction, but that will be but a trifling task. And then – oh, but I dream of that glorious day! – then, we shall TAKE OVER THE GALAXY.”
Dinosaur + Scientist = AWESOME.