Dinosaur(ish) of the day: DIMETRODON!!!!!
“Ok, you guys, I am, like, SOOOOO not a dinosaur.” Oh my god,” groaned Nicole, a young Dimentrodon. “I don’t know how many times I have to tell you guys this, but I am totally a synapsid. And we are way cooler than dinosaurs. Because we are fucking proto-mammals. Dinosaurs are fucking old school, and not in the good way that, like, Run DMC is old school. Dinosaurs are old school in the way that, like, that funny smell that’s in the air at your grandma’s house, like, you know, it’s kinda like mothballs mixed with, like, lilacs, and maybe cheese. You know that smell. Also, there’s some, like, fart mixed in. So, like, the smell of mothballs, lilacs, cheese and fart. Old people smell. That’s what kind of old school dinosaurs are. And they’re always getting all up in my face about not being a reptile. Well, I don’t know who gave them the idea that they’re the boss of me, but I can do whatever the hell I want. God.”
My back sail brings all the boys to the yard: “Ok, ok, so, like, the main difference between synapsids and reptiles is that reptiles have lower jaws made up of all kinds of little bones but we have just one big bone which is so obviously better. And also, reptiles, like for instance those totally gross-ass DINOSAURS, have two openings in their skulls that let their muscles attach their skulls to their jaws and we only have one, which really just shows that we are WAY BETTER and clearly on the way to evolving into mammals. And, ok, yeah, so maybe synapsids are still “mammal-like reptiles” and not actually mammals yet, but whatever. I don’t fucking care if I still have cold blood and I don’t fucking care if I don’t have mammary glands and I don’t fucking care if I still lay eggs. Because I’ve evolved canine teeth. Which is so bad-ass. And also, I have this fucking BACK SAIL which is so totally rad.”
“Yeah! A back sail. For realz. And, like, I can use it to regulate my body temperature and shit. But mostly it just looks awesome. My back sail is so fucking hot.”
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Still unrelated to dinosaurs: okay! I will order tickets (you, me, Kate, Chris) this afternoon. Where are you going to sleep if not camping? I am totally camping.
I am probably going to sleep, like, at my house. Because it has beds in it. And ideally I will snafu the car and drive in. This is pending parental approval of car use.
Please note that probably I will end up caming anyhow, despite my best efforts.
If you don’t camp, we will not be able to sit around the campfire and drink and sing the David Duchovny song, and that would be so sad. We could call it something other than camping, if that would help. Like, we could call it “staying in a five-star hotel”. And the campfire would then be a five-star-hotel-fire. Would that be better?
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