I decided to take yesterday off, in celebration of how I saw the greatest movie ever made.  But now I am back on track, I swear!

Dinosaur of the Day: Megalosaurus!

“I just don’t understand those young dinosaurs these days.  These new fangled back sails.  Head crests.  I just don’t know.  I worry, you know.  It frightens me, these moves towards mammalism.”

“We did so much important work when I was young.  So much work.  These children, they just don’t understand.  They don’t understand.  And then they make fun of us for not having any canine teeth.  I don’t know.  I just don’t know.

“Did you know?  Did you know that Megalosaurus was the FIRST dinosaur ever found by a human?  No, I bet you didn’t.  All you care about are those new-fangled dinosaurs like Velociraptors and Troodons and, heck, even Tyrannosaurs.  Those Tyrannosaurs are children compared to us. Have I ever told you about the time a human scientist found the first Megalosaur bone?  I have?  Well, you’ve probably forgotten, so let me tell you again.  They found it in 1763.  1763!  And they thought it was a from a gigantic human.  More proof than you ever needed that mammals are idiots if you ask me.  It was the bottom of a Megalosaur femur, not part of some imaginary giant human.  Idiots.  I’ll say it again.  Idiots.

“And as if that weren’t proof enough of the tomfoolery of those new-fangled mammals, well, you will never believe what happened next.  They decided that that piece of bone looked an awful lot like balls.  Yes.  Balls.  As in testicles.  Balls.  So they decided to name the species ‘scrotum humanum.’  I could not make this up if I tried.  Those idiot humans have even written about it in their sacred texts.

“It doesn’t matter, really.  It doesn’t matter if young dinosaurs think they’re more mammal than reptile.  It doesn’t matter if humans think the bottom of my femur looks like testicles.  It doesn’t matter because I am going to eat all of their faces for lunch.”