My current summer project (to do an intense, scrupulous study of Helen Gurley Brown‘s Sex and the Single Girl whilst drinking on the porch) is proving to be completely hilarious. This book is so silly, which of course means that it’s wonderful. Mid-Century advice literature is really a genre that deserves more scholarly attention, I am telling you.
Anyhow, here is what Ms. Brown suggests as a good way to lose a quick six pounds over the course of two days:
“If you’d like to crash away six pounds in two days, here is a diet men like. Invite one to join you. Follow this plan only two days; then back to sanity!
Breakfast: 1 egg any style, no butter, one glass white wine
Lunch: 2 eggs any style, two glasses white wine
Dinner: 1 steak, finish the bottle of white wine.
I’d suggest a weekend for the crash. Sufficient nutrition is here, but you get fuzzy.”
Seriously! That is the most hilarious thing I have ever read. American in 1962 was clearly a foreign country. Obviously, though, I do totally agree with the part of this advice that involves drinking.
And speaking of my close relationship with wine, today the police came to our door, because apparently someone had reported yelling and screaming and animal sounds (yes, ANIMAL SOUNDS) coming from one of the adjacent apartments, and I was, of course, holding a glass of wine in my hand when I opened the door because if there is one thing I am really good at, it is making a stunning first impression. Also it is worth noting that at the precise moment that they came to the door, the apartment was full of smoke because there we had only just burned dinner. Anyhow, they asked if I’d heard anything (I hadn’t) and asked for my name, and hopefully they won’t come back and deport me for being an alcoholic pyromaniac or something.
When are you coming to Canadialand? I have a Summerfolk ticket for you. Summerfolk starts on the 14th.
Also, it should be noted that this year I have a tent that is EVEN BETTER than the previous two-door tent, in that this one has FOUR doors, a screened-in front porch, an optional dividing wall so that you can have your own room if you want, a remote-control lighting system, and is definitely tall enough to stand up and stretch in. All you have to do to make it just like staying in a five-star hotel instead of like camping is to bring yourself an air mattress, and it should be noted that this tent is big enough to fit two double air mattresses, so you can bring a double one if you want.
That sounds like the most luxurious uber tent, ever.
Leith, your tent is better than my apartment. Actually, it’s better than my office. I think I might buy a tent to run a theatre company out of.
I will get to Canada on Saturday! Any further inquiries re: my whereabouts should be directed to me via email, lest my enemies (well, my one enemy, actually, but he’s a pretty major enemy) discover my undisclosed location.
This tent sounds very nice and everything but it needs walls made out of something solid other than fabric and a non-gross bathroom that does not require a trek through the outdoors for access to bring it at least to 2-star status. And also, when a tent is that fancy, why not just sleep in a house? The lighting system does sound pretty impressive, though.
Last night after I posted this comment I went to bed and proceeded to have a dream wherein you explained that the reason you wanted to live in a tent was because Deb had sent the walls of your house to a friend in Sacramento who had lost the walls of their house. GOOD STORY.