Once upon a time, I had a birthday

Some people may or may not have been whisked away by enterprising gentlemen for a weekend of birthday adventures.

Some of those adventures may or may not have included:

Chancing upon some Spudnuts in Santa Barbara;

Scenery of a jaw-dropping nature;

SOLVANG!  Solvang is like a town in Denmark, via Disneyland.  In Solvang, some people may or may not have actually seen Arnold Schwarzenegger (we totally did see Arnold Schwarzenegger in Solvang, and, ever the eloquent soul, my immediate statement was “that man’s skin is so taut his face looks like a fine saddle.”  In case you were wondering, he and his retinue of bodyguards went to the Bit O’ Denmark Restaurant);

The Madonna Inn.  Dreams really do come true, friends, and the Madonna Inn is basically the physical manifestation of all of my dreams.  For the uninitiated:  the Madonna Inn is a hotel near San Luis Obispo that was built in the 1950s, and every room is uniquely themed and decorated to be as kitschy as possible.  It is WONDERFUL.

And we stayed in this room.  The bed is ROUND.  Some people may or may not have spent all weekend jumping up and down, excitedly, in the manner of a five year old, going “Circle bed circle bed! We get to sleep in a circle bed!”

And IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH, the next day we went to Ostrich Land.  Did you know that an ostrich egg costs $40?  This is upsetting, because my current dream is to host a dinner party at which I serve a single, giant boiled egg, which I will slice and serve to my guests like a ham.  I am currently on a quest to source cheaper ostrich eggs somewhere in Los Angeles.

And then there was pea soup, at Pea Soup Anderson’s, a restaurant that proves that the best business model is to have cartoon character mascots from the 1950s, and be famous for one thing, even if it is a thing that most people probably don’t generally want (ie: pea soup).

And then we went dancing in the 1940s and it was so, so, so wonderful, and I wore my best dress and ate flan.  THE END.