May, 2010

  1. Further adventures of a lady about town

    May 20, 2010 by ms. xandra

    Small adventures: I don’t know what you’re doing for your North American National Holiday (July 1 or 4, depending), but I have vacation plans that will top them all:  somehow, miraculously, I have convinced my dear Gentleman Caller that it is of Utmost Importance that we be in Roswell, New Mexico for the annual UFO Festival.  We have reached a point where every second conversation we have is something like “Are you sure you aren’t just humoring me?  I mean, we really don’t need to drive into the desert to hang out with a bunch of UFO crazies/purchase, cook, and serve an ostrich egg/sample every variety of donut in Seattle/start a 1930s dustbowl revival musical act/etc. if you don’t really want to.  I can always do these exceptionally ridiculous things on my own,” and his answer, because he is exceptionally super-duper, is invariably something along the lines of “No, I think that’s a great idea,” and that is why I keep him.

    Larger adventures: First of all, let’s let the cat out of the bag:  I won’t be coming home to Canada this summer, which I feel kind of sad and guilty about, even though my mother keeps saying “why would you bother coming home?  It doesn’t make sense for you to go out of your way to come home,” as though coming home is some kind of exceptionally taxing chore (it isn’t.)  But I have a very good reason for not coming home!  I am going to England for much longer than anticipated because I got a travel fellowship!  So what this means is that I will be travelling in and around Liverpool for the first few weeks of August, and then meeting up with Gentleman Caller for a quick trip to a yet-to-be-determined locale (he will be on the continent because he is touring with the Bulgarian folk band that he plays in) and then I’ll be in London for the month of September!  I am obviously fairly excited about all of this, and flights are booked, and an apartment in London has been secured, and I just need to piece together the rest of the trip, and move my stuff out of my apartment and into storage (sure to be a headache, but what can you do?) and get my British Library reader pass, and then I’ll be all set!  I’ve never been to the UK before, so if anyone has any travel tips, I would appreciate them!

    Consumerist adventures:  I think I want these.  I have been reading the Pamela Des Barres book which makes me covet some late-60′s-style summer shoes.  Internet, what thinks you?

    Also, I have pictures of Ostrich Egg Giant Breakfast!  Soon!  I promise!


  2. Really good business ideas that will make me Lady Millionaire, Ph.D.

    May 14, 2010 by ms. xandra

    Because we all know that my only career prospects outside of academia are in entrepreneurship, I have thought of these foolproof business ideas that will make me millions of dollars.  Because it is 1 in the morning I just tried to spell “foolproof” with a ph at the beginning and had to stare at it for a while until I could figure out what was wrong.

    1.  Voicemail from a Monkey.  We’ve talked about this before.  The way this works is you give me a million dollars and then I have a monkey leave voicemail at the phone number of your choice.  Makes a great birthday gift!

    2.  Your Name on/in Beets:  I write your name in Sharpie on a beet.  The beet is placed in a jar, which is hung from a cord, which you wear as a necklace.  ALTERNATELY, I spell your name in sliced beets.  On a  plate.  Comes with a side salad for $1 extra.


  3. VOCABULARY WORD OF THE DAY:

    May 2, 2010 by ms. xandra

    Megavertebrate.

    I learned this word at the Wild Animal Park, which is where our adventuring took us this fine Sunday mid-morning.  Megavetebrates include rhinos, elephants, and similar.  I learned this word from our safari tour guide, who was loose and fast with the slightly inexplicable metaphors (ie:  ”the Cheetah’s fur is butterscotch and cream”) but who has provided me with a vocabulary word that will surely make an excellent name for either my heavy metal band or my pan flute quintet.

    ALSO, how cute is a baby elephant???  You have no idea how cute a baby elephant is.  It is so cute.  And there where, what, five of them?  And they were so wobbly and smiley!  Unfortunately I do not have any pictures of the cuteness because at this point in the afternoon I was too lazy to get my camera out of my bag and was content to let my Gentleman Caller do the phototaking, but here is a picture of a sassy lion chilling in the back of a truck which is also pretty awesome.

    BUT MOST AWESOME OF ALL:  on the outskirts of Escondido, California, we came upon a produce stand.  And at said produce stand, what did we find?  OSTRICH EGGS.  For the reasonable price of $25, which, compared to the $40 they were charging at Ostrich Land, is a bargain!

    Here it is, our very own Ostrich Egg!  Shown aside some less giant but no less noble chicken eggs for comparison:

    OSTRICH EGG NUTRITIONAL FACTS:  Contains 500% Daily Intake of AWESOME.

    I am very excited for next weekend’s Giant Brunch, featuring Giant Egg, Giant Toast, Giant Pancake, Giant Sausage, and, most importantly GIANT MIMOSA!   Who’s in?

    INSPIRATIONAL RECIPES FROM BRAVE CHEFS WHO HAVE GONE BEFORE:

    Deviled Ostrich Egg

    Scotch Ostrich Egg

    Ostrich Egg Omelette

    Ostrich Egg Frittata

    Ostrich Egg with Tarragon and Pine Nut Tarator