Because we all know that my only career prospects outside of academia are in entrepreneurship, I have thought of these foolproof business ideas that will make me millions of dollars. Because it is 1 in the morning I just tried to spell “foolproof” with a ph at the beginning and had to stare at it for a while until I could figure out what was wrong.
1. Voicemail from a Monkey. We’ve talked about this before. The way this works is you give me a million dollars and then I have a monkey leave voicemail at the phone number of your choice. Makes a great birthday gift!
2. Your Name on/in Beets: I write your name in Sharpie on a beet. The beet is placed in a jar, which is hung from a cord, which you wear as a necklace. ALTERNATELY, I spell your name in sliced beets. On a plate. Comes with a side salad for $1 extra.