Hello my friends and darlings, how are you? I am particularly excellent right now because I have finally answered a question that has plagued myself and several of my compatriots for time immemorial (ie: since last May). That question is: what actually goes in a Cheese Carrot? But we will get to that in a second. First! I am hereby announcing my new years resolutions! I do not ordinarily make resolutions, but these are things that have been on my mind for some time so I feel like January is as good a time as any to implement them.
RESOLUTION 1: Blog more. To that end, I have a new foolhardy project, which I will detail below! Also, I will blog more at Blogging.LA because I don’t post as much as I ought to and I feel guilty about it.
RESOLUTION 2: Come up with a post-Ph.D. life plan. I feel like now is a pretty good time to be doing this, since I’ve got about 2 years left of grad school if things go well, so I can start putting things in place. The deal is: I like academia. I like it a lot. I like learning and I like teaching and I like writing. I am not totally burnt out on it yet. I will totally finish my degree, and I will totally take a stab at finding an academic job. HOWEVER, the reality is that there are fewer and fewer good jobs in academia. So, rather than become one of those people who doggedly and futilely pursue non-existent tenure-track jobs, and find themselves living on ramen at age 40, I want to start thinking NOW about what I can do to get a job outside of academia, and, if possible, start doing things now that will make that possible. This could take some doing, as my curent skill set is not, how you say, easily marketable. And this is where, you, my friends, come in! I have a few ideas about things I could potentially do, but I would like to know: have you ever thought to yourself “Gee, that Alexandra would make a really good (insert profession here)”? Because I am curious as to what other people think I would be good at. WARNING: If you say that I will be a good lumberjack or a good rabbi (both actual career suggestions that were recommended to me by a computerized aptitude test in high school) you will be disqualified. Also, while I have entertained both “society wife” and “high-class call girl” as options, I feel that these positions would not truly play to my strengths.
AND NOW CHEESE CARROTS.
So, as you may recall, I made a cheese- and gelatin-based monstrosity last spring, for research purposes. It was based on a recipe that I vaguely recalled from a 1947 recipe book by one Mrs. Meta Given, the Betty Crocker of Pittsburgh, that I found in a book sale in a church basement. As of last spring, the book was in my parents’ basement in Canada, and I was in Los Angeles, so I had to reconstruct the recipe from memory. I remembered that it involved cheese, carrots, gelatin, and parsley, and I remembered that it was pretty unfortunate, and based on these remembrances, I attempted to recreate it. And now, here I am in Canada, where I have finally excavated the actual cookbook from my parents basement and I present for you the genuine, 100% authentic and true Meta Given Cheese Carrot Recipe!
(Please excuse the poor photo quality – these are taken with my phone because, alas, my camera got lost or stolen at LAX. Because of the un-stellar quality, I shall transcribe below.)
CHEESE CARROTS
1/2 tsp plain gelatin
1 tbsp cold water
1/4 pimiento cheese spread(editor’s note: OH GOD WHAT COULD THIS BE??? Ok, maybe it is not so bad?)
1/8 tsp salt
Dash of Worcestershire sauce (editor’s note: it’s the Worcestershire sauce that really elevates this from mere cooking to cuisine.)
1/3 cup freshly grated carrots
Parsley
Soften gelatin in cold water for 5 minutes. Melt over hot water. Cool slightly. Blend with pimiento cheese, salt, and Worcestershire sauce. Chil just enough to stiffen slightly. Divide into 1/2 teaspoon portions. Roll each portion of cheese into a cone shape, then roll in the grated carrots until generously coated with carrot. Place on a waxed paper and chill until firm. Stick a small spring of parsley in the end of each. Makes about 20.
So…this is both less horrible and more horrible than what I remembered it being. I was not THAT far off, however, and I do think that the use of cheese spread is better than the grated cheese that I used. However, it pleases me that the gelatin is not as large a component as I thought it was because that means that making a vegetarian version of these is much more feasible.
The cookbook this comes from – Meta Given’s Modern Encyclopedia of Cooking – is a source of magic and wonder. And also, as evidenced by th above, horror. And so, I have decided to embark on an extended journey with this cookbook, to really get to know the ins and outs of mid-century American cuisine. So what I am going to do is make a recipe from Meta Given’s Modern Encyclopedia of Cooking once a week. This is not going to be some Julie and Julia thing where I cook my way through the entire entire book because, honestly, I would like to emerge from this with my life and my stomach lining both intact, so I will be picking and choosing my recipes depending on what I can stand. I can tell you right now that I will not be making ANYTHING from page 445:
Prune milk, sage milk, tomato buttermilk, tomato milk…strangely enough, these have limited appeal.
But there are plenty of other things in this book that are equally silly and about half as disgusting. So stay tuned! Sunday Dinner with Mrs. Given will start some time in the new year!
Because of the un-stellar quality, I shall transcribe:
