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‘Awesome’ Category

Hope!

October 29, 2010 by ms. xandra

I am made very happy by very trifling things. To wit:

Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Cream. It makes my chapped lips unchapped in approximately five minutes. It comes in a tiny glass jar that is the same tiny glass jar it has come in since approximately forever. You can also get it in a sad plastic tube but WHY?

Tiny glass jars. I would like to accumulate a collection of old glass jars that were once filled with cold cream and pomade and powders and were used by women, who, I like to imagine, were Great Women of Letters. I would like to keep these artfully scattered on the bathroom vanity, as though my own home were inhabited by a Great Woman of Letters of yesteryear and has been frozen in a more fabulous time.

Animatronic Dinosaurs. Every day can be Dinosaur Day, it is true, it is true! You just have to believe in the power of Dinosaurs and make it so! Today I said “if there is one thing we accomplish tonight, I would like it to be a trip on the Jurassic Park in the Dark ride.” And my wish came true! Granted, Nikki and I were already at Universal Studios, which did perhaps enable my dream in becoming reality, but I feel that this doesn’t take away from the message of hope I am trying to convey here. That message being: Dinosaurs! They’re secretly always with you! Even if they’re only animatronic, or only in your heart.

Category Awesome, Dinosaur! | Tags: | No Comments
A desperate epistle from the land of Higher Education

July 7, 2010 by ms. xandra

Ways in which my students have spelled “The Shangri-Las”:

The Shringa-Las,

The Shrangris Las,

The Shingles,

The Shir La Las,

The Rondelles,

The Rockets.

Artists my students have identified as the performer of “I Can See For Miles,” by The Who:

The Byrds,

The Beatles,

The Rolling Stones,

The Beach Boys,

(and all of the above seem like completely understandable mistakes but the next two are totally inexplicable,)

The Drifters,

The Everly Brothers.

IN OTHER NEWS: So much other news! But the most important other news at the moment is: JULY 16th IS DINOSAUR DAY!!!! Oh yes. I bet you thought I didn’t mean it when I went ahead and invented a holiday last year. Oh, but did I ever mean it. And if you think I am ever going to let July 16th pass again without commemorating the loss of the late, great, dinosaurs, boy howdy, are you mistaken. SO STAY TUNED! This year I am going to invent some kind of dinosaur cake, perhaps a cherpumple variant? But for now it will remain a thrilling mystery!

Category Academe, Awesome | Tags: | 1 Comment
Adventurtimes!

April 22, 2010 by ms. xandra

So I went to Seattle for the Pop Conference! It was pretty successful, I’d say: I met lots of cool folks, and managed to not make out with Chuck Klosterman or similar (this was facilitated by the fact that Chuck Klosterman was not there; and I was accompanied by my gentleman caller, who may have frowned upon such behaviour). And I gave a paper about Lady Gaga, so that was pretty neat. I have come so far as a scholar! It was but a year ago that my students in the LGBT Pop class were all turning in terrible papers about Poker Face and I was like “who is the Lady Gaga that the young folk are so excited about?” Ah, yes. Don’t say we’re not busy doing important things over here in Musicologyland.

And also I think you’ll be able to download and listen to my talk on iTunes University! I’ll let you know if this actually happens. This is pretty cool, but also slightly mortifying, because it means that my technological snafus are forever immortalized, as is the moment in my presentation when I meant to say Jay-Z but accidentally said Kanye instead. But oh well. Nobody’s perfect.

I accidentally managed to book us into the Shepard Fairey room at the hipster hotel. I mean, I intentionally booked us into the hipster hotel (it was cheap and has free waffles at breakfastime!) but I did not bargain for the Shepard Fairey room, which meant having to cope with this wallpaper for four days:

Also, this icon, which clearly indicates “milk bottle, present, Hershey Kiss,” was on the little cabinet in the room, and the cabinet did not contain any of these things, so I must assume it is hipster code for “towels, condoms, coffee,” which is what the cabinet did contain. MYSTERIOUS! I am still disappointed that I didn’t get any Hershey’s Kisses, but I probably shouldn’t complain because there were, indeed, those waffles.

As is my wont, I dragged my gentleman caller stumbling through Seattle on a steady diet of neon and donuts:

And we went to the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Company, where I bought a map of the known universe.

I am ten years behind in emails right now – Canadian friends, I will write you tomorrow, I swear it on the ghost of Annette Funicello’s girlish figure.

Category Academe, Adventure, Awesome, Food | Tags: | 1 Comment
Monsters and burgers and pie, oh my.

March 16, 2010 by ms. xandra

You know that scene in Ghost World (aka Still My Favourite Film After All These Years Because I Remain an Angsty 17 Year Old At Heart) where Enid and Rebecca are in the diner and Melorra, that really irritatingly earnest girl who is exactly like every perky human that I hate (because actually I am a Cynical Old 76 Year Old At Heart) comes in and is like “this place is so funky”? HERE LOOK, I found you that scene in case you forgot – the part I’m talking about starts at 2:30:

This basically actually happened in real life the other day. We were at Pie ‘n’ Burger and this girl came in and she WAS Melorra and she said to the dude she was with “I love this place! It’s so…retro!” in exactly that perky, uncynical tone of voice that I so often fail to understand.

So anyhow, that was hilarious. And Pie ‘n’ Burger was basically a dream come true. Look at how photogenic this cheeseburger is! I honestly cannot stop looking at this picture.

And then I had a slice of butterscotch meringue pie (I KNOW, right?) that was so delicious that I forgot to take a picture. You will just have to go to Pie ‘n’ Burger and see for yourself!

And then we went to the monster park in San Gabriel! (See this post I wrote for Metblogs for further details.) Here I am conquering a giant cement octopus in the name of all womankind:

And here is Nikki, taming having just tamed the wild pink whale:

I love giant things made of cement. They’re the one thing I can actually be earnest about in this day and age.

Category Adventure, Awesome, Food | Tags: | No Comments
And then we found an old juice bottle in the basement that was actually full of Galliano, and then it became a very merry Christmas indeed.

December 25, 2009 by ms. xandra

My sister, displaying wisdom beyond her scant 19 years, thoughtfully got me a giant book entitled “501 Must-Drink Cocktails!” for Christmas. So with the Christmas Miracle Galliano, this is what I made:

The Moon River

1/2 measure dry gin

1/2 measure Cointreau

1/2 measure apricot brandy

1/4 measure Galliano

1/4 measure lemon juice

Pour over ice, stir, strain into a cocktail glass.

And that is what I am sipping as I sit here editing html for the scholarly journal, possibly not the wisest choice of beverage to accompany my editorly duties, but, heck, it’s the holidays, let’s throw caution to the wind!

Hilarious, and unrelated: I put out an ISO for Christmas movies about Los Angeles, and the majority opinion seems to be that the best one is Die Hard. Personally, I prefer L.A. Confidential, but what do I know? I think, though, that my Gentleman Caller’s pick – Edward Scissorhands – trumps them all, even though it’s really set in Fantasy Bizzarro-World Burbank, not really in L.A. proper. But that magical combination of artifice and dreaminess really is what Los Angeles is all about.

Category Awesome | Tags: | 1 Comment
Pretty excellent

October 17, 2009 by ms. xandra

1. Less than a week until Windows 7! I am not normally excited about these kinds of things. But I have been having a MAJOR falling out with Windows Vista over the past little while, and I am at the point where I would murder babies if it would get me a different operating system. And also Microsoft has a student deal so I can get it for $30! Oh, the benefits of staying in school for far longer than is proper.

2. Canter’s matzo ball soup! You are hopefully going to cure my cold, but at the very least you are totally delicious. Also, Canter’s, you are one of my most favorite places in the universe, I love you so.

3. The REAL pretty excellent news of the day is that I’ve gotten funding to go to England this summer to do dissertation research and to podcast about it! (I know that “a podcast about dissertation research” sounds epically boring, but since my project is about Awesome Shit like northern soul and lady punk rock and mods vs. rockers it will be very un-boring, I promise.) SO! If you’ve been to England, please consider yourself solicited for traveling advice because I’ve never been. I am, predictably, TOTALLY STOKED about this.

4. Tonight I am going to do some reading, then get hopped up on decongestants and watch Summer Heights High. Sounds pretty excellent.

Category Awesome | Tags: | 4 Comments
Books and also other lovely things

August 12, 2009 by ms. xandra

Today I heard an interview on Writers and Company on the good ol’ CBC with Nuala O’Faolain, an Irish writer who sadly died last year, and who I had never heard of. And now I want to go out and track down her books, because clearly she is a spintersly kindred spirit. She said this, which is SO EXACTLY RIGHT (and I went and downloaded the podcast of the interview so I could remember it, and you should go listen to, because O’Faolain is lovely and hilarious):

“I used open my bottle of wine at 6:00 pm on the dot and start reading. And that’s what I did every evening. I had my little dog. I had my fire. I had my book. And I had my wine. And the problem with this is that people talk of it as if it’s a problem, the solitary spinster drinker. But, far from being a problem, it’s lovely.”

Amen, Nuala! There are very few things I cherish more than beautiful moments of solitude (often supplemented by wine or gin martinis).

Other news: I am in Canada! And boy golly, I sure am getting rudely reacquainted with what humidity is like. A year in the desert has clearly made me weak. Or at least has dried me out.

Other, other news: I am finally sitting down and watching Mad Men, after two years of everybody telling me I should. I’m only part way through the first season right now, and, yeah, it’s good. One thing though: Yes, I totally get why everyone is all gaga over Joan Holloway. I get it. The clothes, the hair, the femme fatale schtick. But that’s the problem: I totally get the Joan Holloway character. There is nothing new and exciting for me in Joan Holloway. I have seen her in a million Joan Crawford movies. Now, Peggy Olsen? She is fascinating. I don’t understand her yet, and I want to know what’s going on with her, and that’s why I like her. I want more Peggy.

And yesterday was a lovely, lovely day because I went into Toronto for the day (my dad had a meeting in the city so I went along for the ride) and met up with Tanya and Emily and Amy B., fabulous all, for lunch and ice cream, and I’m excited to go back to Toronto in a few weeks for more friends and lunches and ice cream.

And there is another author who has recently met with the spinster Stamp of Approval, this time from myself and Spinster Sister Amy G., and that is Elaine Dundy, and I don’t know why we’ve never heard of her. I walked into Stories a few weeks ago and picked up a copy of The Dud Avocado, based solely on its title, and it is pure wonderful, a fabulous, fabulous tale of Sally Jay Gorce, an American ex-pat in Paris in the 1950s, and you should read it because it’s lovely and hilarious. And I have decided to call myself an ex-pat when I’m in LA from now on, because it sounds so very glamourous. But right now I am really enjoying sitting around my parents’ house in my pyjamas, being not glamourous at all.

Category Awesome, Books, Canadialand | Tags: | 3 Comments
I have officially declared this summer the Summer of Romantic Comedies Made Between 1960 and 1965

July 27, 2009 by ms. xandra

You should start with these:

Where the Boys Are – which I just finished watching five minutes ago. It is the greatest film I have ever seen. Connie Francis is in it, she plays a hockey player. We don’t get to see her playing hockey, though, because the movie is set in Fort Lauderdale. There’s a scene in a nightclub with a synchronized swimmer. There are stupid hats. There is a pretentious jazz band that plays a genre that they inexplicably call “dialectic jazz,” except for when Connie Francis sings with them, and then they play a genre called Neil Sedaka. And everybody falls in love and tragic things happen and nice things happen and there’s lots of making out. AN EXCELLENT FILM.

Lover Come Back – really, Doris Day’s hats are the centerpiece of this film. Also, you should watch this one alongside Down With Love, and you will notice that Down With Love is not exaggerating the ridiculousness of Doris Day/Rock Hudson vehicles, not one little bit. Also, this film features Fake Science, one of a few of my favourite things.

Get Yourself A College Girl – This is basically Where the Boys Are, except for they go skiing instead of to the beach. And it has even more ridiculous and elaborate musical numbers (The Animals are in it! And The Standells! And that lady who sang The Girl from Ipanema! So basically, it is a perfect movie if you ever find yourself stuck with a musicologist who you need to keep distracted), and there are really stupid costumes, and Nancy Sinatra. Recently my criteria for choosing films has been “does it feature co-eds on vacation wearing stupid hats, and also musical numbers that involve the lead characters standing around watching a band, and therefore have absolutely nothing to do with the plot?” and this one fits the bill rather well.

Sex and the Single Girl – Actually, this might be the greatest movie I have ever seen. Edith Head did the costumes! And Lauren Bacall is in it! And Tony Curtis and Natalie Wood! And there is a half-hour long car chase to LAX where they play musical taxicabs and eat pretzels! Basically, everyone spends the entire movie running around being irrational and looking fabulous. Natalie Wood plays Helen Gurley Brown, who, in this film, is not, in fact, the editor of Cosmo, but rather is a psychologist. A very fabulously dressed psychologist. Also, there is a subplot involving hosiery.

Incidentally, I am also reading the book Sex and the Single Girl right now, and it is a rather delightful combination of brilliant wisdom and complete and utter lunacy, of the kind that could only emerge from 1962. I’m thinking of maybe doing a week-long blog project where I try to actually follow Helen Gurley Brown’s advice and see what happens. It will probably end terribly, as so far, two chapters in, the crux of her advice seems to be “sleep with married men and make them buy you things,” which seems like, you know, a terrible idea.

PROJECT FOR NEXT WEEK: See all of the movies that feature Paula Prentiss and Jim Hutton as co-stars.

Category Awesome, Culture, Media, Music | Tags: | 3 Comments
Oh My Heavens.

May 20, 2009 by ms. xandra

1. I am writing to you on a new computer, because my old computer died, sort of, or something. The screen was weirdly flickering the other day. And then today it weirdly flickered and then went black. And then I tried the ol’ turn-it-off-and-turn-it-on-again trick, only it wouldn’t turn on again. It was dead. So I brought it to the tech support guys, who were useless (helpful quotes: “You seem to have a problem with your computer,” and also “You could sell it for parts,”) and then I called my dad, and he told me to get a new computer and so I did. Good thing I suffer from acute paranoia and thus back up my data obsessively.

2. A long-overdue story:

Last Friday, VV and I went on a nautical tour of Koreatown. Koreatown is kind of impenetrable at the best of times, and when you try to apply a boat theme to it, it just becomes ridiculous. We began our adventure at Cafe Jack, LA’s one and only Titanic (as in, Titanic, the movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio)-themed restaurant, I hope. And also, it is in a big fake boat. And they serve tea and coffee and sushi (we had the Jack and Rose Roll) and weird fusion food, compelling presented via a poorly translated menu with no English descriptions. We ordered the pizza cutlet, because who doesn’t want to know what a pizza cutlet is? Boring people, that’s who. It turns out a pizza cutlet is a chicken cutlet . . . fried, breaded, and covered in pizza toppings. (I was disappointed because I was expecting a slice of pizza wrapped in meat.) We chose not to order the skewer fish cake pod, because there are only two words in that name that are actually edible things, and they are not two things that really should be eaten together.

From there, we went to the Brown Derby. The Brown Derby was that famous restaurant shaped like a hat that all the old Hollywood stars went to, only now, the original site of the Derby has been made into a mini mall. However, in the interests of historical preservation or of madness, the Derby itself was not demolished, but placed atop the mini mall, like a crown, and now it houses a bar called The Red, where I ordered a gin and tonic and was given a gin and club soda.

And then we went to the HMS Bounty. A nautical bar full of old people, with signs on wall that say things like “Happy 100th Birthday Doris.” It was WONDERFUL.

And then, as part of my research project on boys, we watched The Big Lebowski, which, it turns out, is even less sensical and more impenetrable than Koreatown. (Like, seriously you guys, can someone explain to me why every straight boy loves this movie? I even asked my most trusted straight boy colleague and he couldn’t satisfactorily explain it.)

3. I have a cold. It keeps migrating to various parts of my body. I wish it would leave my chest, and go to, like, my knee, or something.

4. Friday I start my MA exams. I am using them as an excuse to order lots of takeout.

Category Academe, Adventure, Angst, Awesome, Los Angeles | Tags: | 2 Comments
CHASED BY DANGER!

April 25, 2009 by ms. xandra

Unrelated: The next comment on this blog will by my 2000th comment! THAT IS A LOT. Maybe I will give Commenter #2000 a prize! (Probably the prize will be: I will make you a badge out of construction paper and paste with a crayon portrait of Fox Mulder on it. It will say “YEAR 2000″ only “YEAR” will be crossed out and “COMMENTER” will be written over top.)

Related: VV and I had another adventure, this time to Cole’s, the oldest continuously operating restaurant in Los Angeles for SANDWICHES SANDWICHES SANDWICHES (and also garlic fries and mac and cheese) and then to DONUT KING II! (I believe that is pronounced “Donut King the Second.” I tried to find out where Donut King the First would be, but it turns out that Donut King is a popular name for donut shops, for some reason.)

Anyhow, Cole’s is fun and neat. Like Phillipe’s, it claims to be the inventor of the French Dip. Unlike, Phillipe’s it seems to be very invested in its image. Actually, as I read that I want to take it back – Phillipe’s is also invested in its image, but it’s image is of not being invested in its image. Cole’s, on the other hand, is very “WELCOME TO A DARK RESTAURANT IN 1908.” Having tasted both French Dips, I’m still on the fence – but Cole’s gives you jus for dipping, and Phillipe’s doesn’t, and Cole’s has better side dishes, but Phillipe’s is cheaper, and Phillipe’s has a neat counter where you order directly from the carvers, and I think Phillipe’s sandwich was kind of tastier. I guess it really all comes down to ambiance. Apparently, Cole’s used to be the Cole’s Pacific Electric Buffet (because it is in the basement of the Pacific Electric building) until, like, a year ago, when it was taken over by some fancy restauranteur who gave it a bit of a makeover to be more 1908-y, so, arguably, Phillipe’s is more “authentic,” if you go in for that kind of argument (I don’t), but both made pretty good sandwiches, which ultimately is the point.

Anyhow anyhow, on the menu at Cole’s was a list of things that were filmed there. And on that list was X-FILES! So, naturally, when we got home, we tried to figure out which episode was shot at Cole’s and the internet turned up NOTHING. Absolutely nothing whatsoever. It is like I have finally found the aporia in the internet’s knowledge. And it’s really distressing, too, because I obviously was going to immediately watch the episode in question. Instead, it appears that I will have to watch every episode from Season 6 (which was when filming moved to LA) on, in order to find the Cole’s episode. Alas, what a hardship. (Actually, given the dark years of Seasons 8-9, it might be a bit of a hardship.)

In the absence of the Cole’s episode, however, we watched 3, the Mulder-has-sex-with-a-vampire-and-it’s-awkward episode from Season 2. I knew it was set in LA, but I couldn’t remember if it was filmed in LA. I obviously hadn’t watched it since before I moved here, because, dude, you only have to spend one day in this city to realize that 3 is set in Vancouver pretending to be LA, and it is SO FUNNY. And also, we made up a new game, called Look Up The Addresses That Mulder and Scully are Supposed To Be At in Google Maps and See What’s Actually There. So, what we found out is that “Club Tepes,” the bar that’s like Club Abstract but is worse, where Mulder totally hits on Gross Vampire Lady, is approximately located where the Alexander McQueen store is on Melrose, and the mansion in Malibu where they eventually end up is actually located in a tunnel, which really is kind of remarkable given how few tunnels there are here in Los Land of Earthquakes.

Anyhow, sorry. I will stop X-Filesing for now.

DONUTS! Donut King II donuts were, you know, donuts. The real revolution came the next morning, when I decided to heat up a plain ol’ glazed donut that had gotten slightly stale in a frying pan – the glaze carmelized and it got all crispy and amazing. BETTER BREAKFAST THROUGH SCIENCE! I am telling you.

Anyhow, at some point in the course of Wednesday Night Adventuring, it was decided that I would start a new blog feature, called Word of the Week, in which I define a word. This week’s word is MIRACLE. Here is the definition of miracle: A miracle is when you think you’re all out of gin, but then you realize you have an entire other bottle in the cupboard. MIRACLE.

Here is a picture of me, chillaxing at Donut King II with a Vanilla Dip:

And here is a picture of the giant donut, in which I tried to capture it’s awe-inspringness:

And also, we returned to Mr. T’s Meat Market, and here it is in non-blurry glory:

And here is a drive in liquor store, which seems, you know, very sensible:

And here is the sign welcoming you with a pip, pip, cheerio to Canterbury Knolls, Los Angeles’ least likely named neighbourhood (ie: there are no knolls, and also, it is in the shitty part of Los Angeles, not England):

And Sunday we might go to La Puente. Which is somewhere. I don’t actually know where. But what I do know, is that it is home to this majestic work of architechtural genius:

Category Adventure, Awesome, Food, Los Angeles, Rhetoric, X-Files | Tags: | 6 Comments

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