So I have been drinking flat whites, even though they also have TOO MUCH MILK largely because I want to solve the mystery.  And I am no closer to solving the mystery because HERE IS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED YESTERDAY:

I was on my way to a Vintage Clothing Fair and popped into a Costa to get a coffee for the walk.  I ordered a flat white for investigative purposes.  And the barista handed me a cup of steamed milk.  Full stop.  Just milk.  With no espresso in it.  So I was like “shouldn’t there be coffee in this?”  and he was like, “oh,” and made it again.

So later this week I am going to go to Flat White, which is the coffee shop in Soho that started all of this nonsense and I am going to order a flat white, a cappucino, and a latte and figure this out once and for all.  I am putting my money on the possibility that I will just get three cups of the exact same thing.

OH, to be back in Los Angeles where I can get a tasty cup of hand-poured coffee delivered to me by a surly hipster in a funny vest!

PS:  This post is tagged CTHULHU because obviously the flat white is the beverage of choice of the devourer of worlds.

2.  Remember last time I wrote a blog post and I was all like “I’m going to start giving a word of the week every week!”  Well, I actually meant it.  This week’s word is PENGUIN.  Once upon a time a few weeks ago, my friends and I were watching The Terror of Tiny Town, a 1938 film that happens to be the world’s first musical Western with an all-midget cast.  (I know, right?) So, anyhow, there was this one scene where they were at the neighbourhood tonsorial parlour and then all of a sudden the action stopped, there was an inexplicable shot of a penguin, and then the action resumed again.  And we were all like “WHY WAS THERE THAT PENGUIN?”  “I DON’T KNOW.”  Thus, the “penguin” of the movie is the thing that happens in the movie that stops the action for a period of time and does not serve to advance the plot at all.  Sam has correctly identified the Barbara Striesand Walks Down the Stairs in a Fancy Dress and Sings a Song scene as the penguin of Hello, Dolly.  Sam wins this week’s vocabulary quiz, and he didn’t even know he was playing.

3.  I have some thoughts about Lady Gaga but they are far to complex to reveal right now.  I must let this percolate.  I know you are dying to know what I think of Lady Gaga.

4.  Los Angeles would be better if everything currently named “Beverly” (Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Beverly Blvd., The Beverly Center, Beverly Crusher, etc.) was renamed “CTHULHU.”  Are you worried about zombies?  Stop worrying about zombies.  WORRY ABOUT CTHULHU INSTEAD.