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Breakfasttime Adventure!

January 31, 2010 by ms. xandra

A couple weeks ago, the Estimable Miss VV and I arose with the sun (or, well, clouds, actually – it was SoCal’s semi-annual Rain Week – not as exciting as Shark Week, but just as wet) and ventured forth for a double-whammy of giant, round breakfast foods with holes in the middle. This was an exciting event, because it means that finally we have eaten at all of the former Big Donut locations that remain in SoCal.

First stop – Bellflower Bagels, a former Big Donut, repurposed in the only possible way in which one can repurpose a giant donut:

And then we got lost! But not very lost. Only a little bit lost. But it was lucky that we did get lost, otherwise we would never have discovered that Norwalk, California, is a secret mecca of totally great mid-century architecture.

We discovered, for instance, this total gem of an old grocery store, now a swap meet:

And the truly, truly glorious Cerritos College gymnasium:

More photos of the gymnasium, one of the bestest examples of 50s architechture that I ever did see.

We quickly found ourselves back on track, and donuts loomed large on the horizon!

A well deserved second breakfast, if ever there was one.

Category Adventure, Food, Los Angeles | Tags: | No Comments
Walk walk walk walk walk

November 8, 2009 by ms. xandra

We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled dress blogging next week, I promise. I’m planning one post that will riff on the Gossip concert I went to, what, two weeks ago now? and another on my new favorite girl group song (a song that involves either what is either a reference to organized crime or a somewhat unfortunate metaphor).

Anyhow, today was wonderful and amazing because my friend Pauline and I walked to the beach from downtown, following Pico for about 15 miles. I love going for long, ridiculous walks like this because it is fun and exhilarating, and they remind me of how much beauty there is to find in a city has an undeserved reputation for being an endless sea of concrete.

Google maps very optimistically estimated that the walk would take about five hours, which is, of course, madness, because this figure doesn’t take into account important side trips that need to be made for important things like Ethiopian food and educational trips to pinata shops.

I am happy to report that there are no blisters to speak of: special thanks go out to Nexcare Flexible Clear First-Aid Tape, truly a godsend to anyone with feet, for preventing blisters that would otherwise have been inevitable.

I took lots of pictures, and I’ll post them to flickr or wherever when I’m less tired. But in the meantime, a few highlights!

The best place to go for a jet black bouffant.

Pinatas, all in a row!

Two wonderful things about this scene: the sign that could possibly say "Pico Disco," the large banner underneath it that reads "Going out for business."

Jingle Bell Furniture, for when furniture stores that make sense simply won't do.

Sadly, I do not have any pictures of the fabulous jukeboxes inside Jukebox Wurlitzer repair, because the nasty man came outside and yelled at us for taking pictures. (My mother said I should have played the Canadian card. "But I'm from Canada! We don't have Wurlitzers there!")

It's hard to see from the crappy angle, but the sign for this meat market features a pig being chased by a lady WITH A SWORD. Yeah!

Celebrity mural on a liquor store

Street art

I want to eat here someday. I'm sure the food will be terrible, but the decor is clearly to die for.

Apple Pan, my love, my all, shining like a beacon.

Rae's! Elton John shot some cover art here, I've eaten waffles with bacon baked into them here. Clearly an auspicious place.

The Santa Monica pier lit up at night

Dear Los Angeles: I heart you.

Category Adventure, Los Angeles | Tags: | 3 Comments
Oh My Heavens.

May 20, 2009 by ms. xandra

1. I am writing to you on a new computer, because my old computer died, sort of, or something. The screen was weirdly flickering the other day. And then today it weirdly flickered and then went black. And then I tried the ol’ turn-it-off-and-turn-it-on-again trick, only it wouldn’t turn on again. It was dead. So I brought it to the tech support guys, who were useless (helpful quotes: “You seem to have a problem with your computer,” and also “You could sell it for parts,”) and then I called my dad, and he told me to get a new computer and so I did. Good thing I suffer from acute paranoia and thus back up my data obsessively.

2. A long-overdue story:

Last Friday, VV and I went on a nautical tour of Koreatown. Koreatown is kind of impenetrable at the best of times, and when you try to apply a boat theme to it, it just becomes ridiculous. We began our adventure at Cafe Jack, LA’s one and only Titanic (as in, Titanic, the movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio)-themed restaurant, I hope. And also, it is in a big fake boat. And they serve tea and coffee and sushi (we had the Jack and Rose Roll) and weird fusion food, compelling presented via a poorly translated menu with no English descriptions. We ordered the pizza cutlet, because who doesn’t want to know what a pizza cutlet is? Boring people, that’s who. It turns out a pizza cutlet is a chicken cutlet . . . fried, breaded, and covered in pizza toppings. (I was disappointed because I was expecting a slice of pizza wrapped in meat.) We chose not to order the skewer fish cake pod, because there are only two words in that name that are actually edible things, and they are not two things that really should be eaten together.

From there, we went to the Brown Derby. The Brown Derby was that famous restaurant shaped like a hat that all the old Hollywood stars went to, only now, the original site of the Derby has been made into a mini mall. However, in the interests of historical preservation or of madness, the Derby itself was not demolished, but placed atop the mini mall, like a crown, and now it houses a bar called The Red, where I ordered a gin and tonic and was given a gin and club soda.

And then we went to the HMS Bounty. A nautical bar full of old people, with signs on wall that say things like “Happy 100th Birthday Doris.” It was WONDERFUL.

And then, as part of my research project on boys, we watched The Big Lebowski, which, it turns out, is even less sensical and more impenetrable than Koreatown. (Like, seriously you guys, can someone explain to me why every straight boy loves this movie? I even asked my most trusted straight boy colleague and he couldn’t satisfactorily explain it.)

3. I have a cold. It keeps migrating to various parts of my body. I wish it would leave my chest, and go to, like, my knee, or something.

4. Friday I start my MA exams. I am using them as an excuse to order lots of takeout.

Category Academe, Adventure, Angst, Awesome, Los Angeles | Tags: | 2 Comments
Ph’nglui mglw’nafh C’thulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

May 7, 2009 by ms. xandra

1. Oh, god, there is too much to do! Once upon a time I thought it would be a good idea to write my MA exams, attend a conference in North Carolina, and organize a conference at UCLA all in the same month, and now that month is upon me, and it turns out it was a stupid idea. OH WELL. No time to buy groceries; guess I’ll just get scurvy.

2. Remember last time I wrote a blog post and I was all like “I’m going to start giving a word of the week every week!” Well, I actually meant it. This week’s word is PENGUIN. Once upon a time a few weeks ago, my friends and I were watching The Terror of Tiny Town, a 1938 film that happens to be the world’s first musical Western with an all-midget cast. (I know, right?) So, anyhow, there was this one scene where they were at the neighbourhood tonsorial parlour and then all of a sudden the action stopped, there was an inexplicable shot of a penguin, and then the action resumed again. And we were all like “WHY WAS THERE THAT PENGUIN?” “I DON’T KNOW.” Thus, the “penguin” of the movie is the thing that happens in the movie that stops the action for a period of time and does not serve to advance the plot at all. Sam has correctly identified the Barbara Striesand Walks Down the Stairs in a Fancy Dress and Sings a Song scene as the penguin of Hello, Dolly. Sam wins this week’s vocabulary quiz, and he didn’t even know he was playing.

3. I have some thoughts about Lady Gaga but they are far to complex to reveal right now. I must let this percolate. I know you are dying to know what I think of Lady Gaga.

4. Los Angeles would be better if everything currently named “Beverly” (Beverly Hills, Beverly Glen, Beverly Blvd., The Beverly Center, Beverly Crusher, etc.) was renamed “CTHULHU.” Are you worried about zombies? Stop worrying about zombies. WORRY ABOUT CTHULHU INSTEAD.

Category Academe, Angst, CTHULHU, Los Angeles | Tags: | 2 Comments
CHASED BY DANGER!

April 25, 2009 by ms. xandra

Unrelated: The next comment on this blog will by my 2000th comment! THAT IS A LOT. Maybe I will give Commenter #2000 a prize! (Probably the prize will be: I will make you a badge out of construction paper and paste with a crayon portrait of Fox Mulder on it. It will say “YEAR 2000″ only “YEAR” will be crossed out and “COMMENTER” will be written over top.)

Related: VV and I had another adventure, this time to Cole’s, the oldest continuously operating restaurant in Los Angeles for SANDWICHES SANDWICHES SANDWICHES (and also garlic fries and mac and cheese) and then to DONUT KING II! (I believe that is pronounced “Donut King the Second.” I tried to find out where Donut King the First would be, but it turns out that Donut King is a popular name for donut shops, for some reason.)

Anyhow, Cole’s is fun and neat. Like Phillipe’s, it claims to be the inventor of the French Dip. Unlike, Phillipe’s it seems to be very invested in its image. Actually, as I read that I want to take it back – Phillipe’s is also invested in its image, but it’s image is of not being invested in its image. Cole’s, on the other hand, is very “WELCOME TO A DARK RESTAURANT IN 1908.” Having tasted both French Dips, I’m still on the fence – but Cole’s gives you jus for dipping, and Phillipe’s doesn’t, and Cole’s has better side dishes, but Phillipe’s is cheaper, and Phillipe’s has a neat counter where you order directly from the carvers, and I think Phillipe’s sandwich was kind of tastier. I guess it really all comes down to ambiance. Apparently, Cole’s used to be the Cole’s Pacific Electric Buffet (because it is in the basement of the Pacific Electric building) until, like, a year ago, when it was taken over by some fancy restauranteur who gave it a bit of a makeover to be more 1908-y, so, arguably, Phillipe’s is more “authentic,” if you go in for that kind of argument (I don’t), but both made pretty good sandwiches, which ultimately is the point.

Anyhow anyhow, on the menu at Cole’s was a list of things that were filmed there. And on that list was X-FILES! So, naturally, when we got home, we tried to figure out which episode was shot at Cole’s and the internet turned up NOTHING. Absolutely nothing whatsoever. It is like I have finally found the aporia in the internet’s knowledge. And it’s really distressing, too, because I obviously was going to immediately watch the episode in question. Instead, it appears that I will have to watch every episode from Season 6 (which was when filming moved to LA) on, in order to find the Cole’s episode. Alas, what a hardship. (Actually, given the dark years of Seasons 8-9, it might be a bit of a hardship.)

In the absence of the Cole’s episode, however, we watched 3, the Mulder-has-sex-with-a-vampire-and-it’s-awkward episode from Season 2. I knew it was set in LA, but I couldn’t remember if it was filmed in LA. I obviously hadn’t watched it since before I moved here, because, dude, you only have to spend one day in this city to realize that 3 is set in Vancouver pretending to be LA, and it is SO FUNNY. And also, we made up a new game, called Look Up The Addresses That Mulder and Scully are Supposed To Be At in Google Maps and See What’s Actually There. So, what we found out is that “Club Tepes,” the bar that’s like Club Abstract but is worse, where Mulder totally hits on Gross Vampire Lady, is approximately located where the Alexander McQueen store is on Melrose, and the mansion in Malibu where they eventually end up is actually located in a tunnel, which really is kind of remarkable given how few tunnels there are here in Los Land of Earthquakes.

Anyhow, sorry. I will stop X-Filesing for now.

DONUTS! Donut King II donuts were, you know, donuts. The real revolution came the next morning, when I decided to heat up a plain ol’ glazed donut that had gotten slightly stale in a frying pan – the glaze carmelized and it got all crispy and amazing. BETTER BREAKFAST THROUGH SCIENCE! I am telling you.

Anyhow, at some point in the course of Wednesday Night Adventuring, it was decided that I would start a new blog feature, called Word of the Week, in which I define a word. This week’s word is MIRACLE. Here is the definition of miracle: A miracle is when you think you’re all out of gin, but then you realize you have an entire other bottle in the cupboard. MIRACLE.

Here is a picture of me, chillaxing at Donut King II with a Vanilla Dip:

And here is a picture of the giant donut, in which I tried to capture it’s awe-inspringness:

And also, we returned to Mr. T’s Meat Market, and here it is in non-blurry glory:

And here is a drive in liquor store, which seems, you know, very sensible:

And here is the sign welcoming you with a pip, pip, cheerio to Canterbury Knolls, Los Angeles’ least likely named neighbourhood (ie: there are no knolls, and also, it is in the shitty part of Los Angeles, not England):

And Sunday we might go to La Puente. Which is somewhere. I don’t actually know where. But what I do know, is that it is home to this majestic work of architechtural genius:

Category Adventure, Awesome, Food, Los Angeles, Rhetoric, X-Files | Tags: | 6 Comments
A night in the life

March 20, 2009 by ms. xandra

Violet Vixen and I went to go see my newbestfriend Charles Phoenix‘s show last night in fashionable Pasadena, and my, did we have a time. I think Charles is maybe starting to recognize me as Weird Girl Who Dresses Like It’s 1957 and Comes to All His Shows because he patted me on the shoulder when he walked past me after the show and said “Now, did ya like that?” ANYHOW, thus inspired,we (ie: VV and I, not Charles Phoenix and I, although he is certainly invited) are planning a Grande Toure of all of Los Angeles’ greatest kitsch – the working list of locales is here, and if you have any contributions, please advise. (I just now remembered Pie ‘n Burger,which I would like to add to the list. WHAT IS OLLALLIEBERRY PIE??? We must go there and solve the mystery!)

And then after the show we tried to find a giant donut.

“We could find the one on Normandie! It’s . . . somewhere . . . on Normandie. In South Central. We could just drive down Normandie until we see the donut.”

“Drive down Normandie until we see the giant donut. Into South Central. At 11:00 at night.”

“Ok, nevermind.”

So we tried to find the one by the airpor t. But it was literally NOWHERE. So probably it is like Brigadoon, in that it only appears once every 100 years, only instead of “once every 100 years” it appears “only when you are driving home from LAX.” (And speaking of LAX, we should add dinner at the Theme Building to the adventure list.) So we decided to go for pie instead, and then on the way to pie, at the corner of La Brea and Washington, some dudes rode past us on some horses, because that’s, like, totally normal.

And the pie was green and delicious, and I learned what a pot of postum is, and, quite frankly, I could probably have done without ever finding out about postum because it sounds needlessly awful.

Category Adventure, Los Angeles | Tags: | 3 Comments
Dear Los Angeles: A love letter in three scenes

March 9, 2009 by ms. xandra

1. On the bus today, headed towards Hollywood and Highland, I overheard the Jesus impersonator talking to the Haunted Tour of Hollywood tourguide. There has been drama, it seems, amongs the people who dress as characters and pose for pictures with tourists in front of the Chinese Theatre. There was once only one Superman, now there are two. And Old Superman (“Christopher Reeves Superman”) punched New Superman (“Dean Cain Superman”) in the face.

2. Bathroom graffitti I saw the other day that really wouldn’t be at home in any other city: “Trevor does his own stunts.”

3. This post-it note – which I found on the counter in front of the teller’s window at the bank at Sunset and Vermont – now lives inside my wallet, because it is the number one, best ever piece of found art:

DARE TO DREAM, LOS ANGELES.

Category Awesome, Los Angeles | Tags: | No Comments
DONUT-INFUSED COFFEE.

March 1, 2009 by ms. xandra

IT IS TRUE. IT EXISTS.

What is driving me crazy, though, is that last week sometime, I had a conversation with someone that went kind of like this:

“Did you hear? Intelligentsia is opening up this new, excessively-pretentious-sounding store in Venice. With hydraulic pods or some shit.”
“Really? Wow. I heard there’s some place where you can get some kind of donut-infused coffee.”
“That is so amazing that it can’t possibly be real.”

But this morning I learned that it is real. But I cannot for the life of me remember who I had this conversation with so I cannot share the joy. Which is driving me crazy.

But, anyhow, apparently the process for making donut-infused coffee is actually to first make donut-infused milk, which you do by soaking donuts in milk. So I am going to do it myself. I figure, if you use skim milk, it will be like eating donuts, only not as bad for you.

ANYHOW, in other Excellent Coffee News, yesterday I found the Most Perfect Coffee Shop Ever: It is purple on the inside, plays jazz, has paintings of pinup girls, has lots of cute boys with beards hanging out, and MOST IMPORTANTLY: it has a brie and avocado melt. Sadly it is in Echo Park, which means I cannot walk there. The only coffee shop in walking distance to my house is the shitty uncomfortable one with weird Tibetan chairs that are low to the ground and very tiny tables that I always bruise my knees on.

I am going to write another blog post about things other than coffee, but first I need to finish reading my pretentious French feminist theory.

Category Coffee, Los Angeles | Tags: | 4 Comments
And also I fell and skinned my knee. Luckily, my heart is made of fourtanium

February 15, 2009 by ms. xandra

1. Dear my students: the question about “which movement is this song associated with” was referring to a social movement. Therefore the answer is not “the movement of swaying your hips.”

2. Dear American Cinematheque: Thank you for having a Valentine’s day double bill of Baz Luhrmann films about how if you fall in love, things become horrible and then you die (poison or the consumption, your choice), which is basically consistent with my worldview these days.

3. Remember in Anne of Green Gables when Ruby Gillis had the consumption and everybody talked about how beautiful it made her and I was eleven years old and had never heard of the consumption before and didn’t know what Lucy Maud was talking about? Actually, I think it was in Anne of the Island. Anyhow, I think of Ruby Gillis every time someone dies of the consumption.

4. So Sam and I are doing this thing where we are only going to eat fresh fruits and vegetables for an entire week (STOP LAUGHING AT ME, I KNOW YOU’RE LAUGHING AT ME) because we think it will make us feel better and healthier, and I am personally hoping it makes me feel less depressed as fuck all the time. So basically we are having a week without carbs and dairy and unnecessary sugar. So, of course, today I went to Cafe Audrey to drink tea and grade midterms and this dude sits at the table beside me and proceeds to consume (and I am not even kidding) buttered bread with french fries on it. “Would you like a fry?” he said. “No thanks,” I replied, and my heart wept, for my heart loves carbs.

5. This is mostly of interest to Tanya: Apparently there is this goth bar in Downtown LA that has mod night on Thursdays? So, like mod goth night? Or goth mod night? It sounds…important.

6. Because of a conversation I had today, I’ve been thinking a lot about these things and these things, and about how I don’t understand the impulse to lie and to hurt people. It’s frustrating. It’s even more frustrating when people just get away with it.

7. Because of the Oscars (seriously) my bus stop up near the Egyptian was moved from its normal, well-lit corner to a sketchy, scary corner. Please join me in boycotting the Academy Awards to protest this injustice (not that I was going to watch them anyhow).

8. I am 25 years old and I have never owned my own car and this realization makes me feel kind of inadequate, even though I don’t even want a car. What I really want is, like, a unicorn.

9. This is my 600th blog post! Only 66 more until I have the blog of the beast. I think I will celebrate that momentous occasion by drinking red wine out of a teacup and then falling asleep in front of a rerun of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Category Angst, Awesome, Books, Food, Los Angeles | Tags: | 2 Comments
And then I flew a rocket ship to the planet Marva.

January 19, 2009 by ms. xandra

Zarah and I went to the Pasadena Doo-Dah Parade, which, basically, is a parade for the mad. And, in many ways, it renewed by faith in humankind. Here are pictures! And also, my new goal in life is to be a Lady in a Fancy Dress, Sitting on a Car, Waving at the Masses when I grow up.

In other news: I have figured out how to write a musicology paper about space (outer). It is ostensibly about the B-52s, but mostly it will be about space. This will require many trips to the Observatory so that I can learn everything there is to know about space. I actually went there this Friday already, which made me flash back to those days when Young Alexandra, Age 13, saw the film Contact and decided that I would be an astronomer, until I realized that such a career choice would probably involve knowing lots of math. So then I gave up on that and decided to be an opera singer, until I realized that I actually hate other opera singers, and only wanted to be an opera singer because my voice teacher told me that I did, and so now I am a musicologist who writes papers about space. Ah, memories. All alone in the moonlight.

And also, at the Observatory there was a Tesla coil for no reason at all. Tesla coils, as you may know, look pretty neat and shoot sparks in the air but don’t really have much purpose, other than to broadly indicate “SCIENCE” in a certain breed of science fiction film with which I am intimately familiar. Ergo, awesome.

Category Academe, Adventure, Culture, Los Angeles, Musicology, School, Space | Tags: | 2 Comments

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