Even the disadvantages of binder clips aren’t really disadvantages.  Yes, sometimes they can be kind of tough to squeeze open.  This is not a problem:  this is excercise for your fingers, a body part that I feel often gets forgotten in conventional fitness regimes.  And yes, sometimes you can get your fingers caught in them and they kind of pinch, but, as my esteemed roommate pointed out, there is something sort of unquantifiably fun about getting your finger stuck in a binder clip.  It’s true.  It’s not annoying.  It’s kind of weirdly amusing.

I will confess that I accumulate binder clips.  They are like pens:  the sort of thing you don’t really need to buy for yourself because they usually just appear when needed (although I must admit that I usually do buy my own pens, but that’s because of my predilection for writing in purple ink).  So I have a vast collection – they live on my desk, clipped to each other in a glorious chain of binder clippy wonderousness.

Last night, I announced that binder clips were probably the one thing in the world that I can say that I love, one hundred percent, unconditionally, with no hesitation whatsoever.

“Why aren’t more people like binder clips?” asked Sam.

“Because people are jerks.  But binder clips will never let you down.”

(A mutant thing, but still, a thing.)

(I do, however, remain dubious about a berry that needs to be explained using a flowchart.)

Other important news:  I have just managed to work the phrase “Outer Space is for Lovers” into an academic paper; I have therefore reached the pinnacle of my academic career and they should just give me the damn Ph.D. so we can all go home.

2.  Which of the following do I want more?  I can’t decide.  You should tell me.

a) an electric ukulele,

b) a bass guitar,

c) a sewing machine,

d) a tattoo of Dorothy Parker.

Please note that I cannot actually afford to get any of these things.  This is all just conjecture based on the question “what if I happen upon a sack of gold doubloons in the middle of the sidewalk tomorrow?”

3.  On Friday, my Canadian friend Shelina and I are going to see a Canadian band play at Spaceland.  Shelina and I (and it’s worth pointing out that we’ve only known each other for, like, a month, and are from opposite ends of the country) both have weird, tangential friend-of-friend connections to said band, which is doing nothing to disprove the common trope of “all Canadians know each other.”  Sometimes there is nothing to do but to embrace the idea of being a walking cliche.

4. Is it elitist to be wary of going on a date with someone because they have never heard of Leon Trotsky? Probably.  Also, do I talk about theremins too much? I feel like I talk about theremins all the time, with everybody, and probably spew a lot of crap because my two facts that I know about theremins, that I bring up in these seemingly daily conversations that I have with strangers about theremins, are:

a)  Moog used to make build-your-own theremin kits,

b) This one time, Leon Theremin was kidnapped by the KGB (and wikipedia just told me that this fact isn’t even actually true).

5.  My favourite thesis statement:  “Ray Charles had a huge influence on poplar music.”

6.  Ok, fine, I will tell you what my Halloween costume is.  I am going to be a sexy librarian.  FROM SPACE.