‘X-Files’ Category

  1. CHASED BY DANGER!

    April 25, 2009 by ms. xandra

    Unrelated:  The next comment on this blog will by my 2000th comment!  THAT IS A LOT.  Maybe I will give Commenter #2000 a prize!  (Probably the prize will be:  I will make you a badge out of construction paper and paste with a crayon portrait of Fox Mulder on it.  It will say “YEAR 2000″ only “YEAR” will be crossed out and “COMMENTER” will be written over top.)

    Related:  VV and I had another adventure, this time to Cole’s, the oldest continuously operating restaurant in Los Angeles for SANDWICHES SANDWICHES SANDWICHES (and also garlic fries and mac and cheese) and then to DONUT KING II!  (I believe that is pronounced “Donut King the Second.”  I tried to find out where Donut King the First would be, but it turns out that Donut King is a popular name for donut shops, for some reason.)

    Anyhow, Cole’s is fun and neat.  Like Phillipe’s, it claims to be the inventor of the French Dip.  Unlike, Phillipe’s it seems to be very invested in its image.  Actually, as I read that I want to take it back – Phillipe’s is also invested in its image, but it’s image is of not being invested in its image.  Cole’s, on the other hand, is very “WELCOME TO A DARK RESTAURANT IN 1908.”  Having tasted both French Dips, I’m still on the fence – but Cole’s gives you jus for dipping, and Phillipe’s doesn’t, and Cole’s has better side dishes, but Phillipe’s is cheaper, and Phillipe’s has a neat counter where you order directly from the carvers, and I think Phillipe’s sandwich was kind of tastier.  I guess it really all comes down to ambiance.  Apparently, Cole’s used to be the Cole’s Pacific Electric Buffet (because it is in the basement of the Pacific Electric building) until, like, a year ago, when it was taken over by some fancy restauranteur who gave it a bit of a makeover to be more 1908-y, so, arguably, Phillipe’s is more “authentic,” if you go in for that kind of argument (I don’t), but both made pretty good sandwiches, which ultimately is the point.

    Anyhow anyhow, on the menu at Cole’s was a list of things that were filmed there.  And on that list was X-FILES!  So, naturally, when we got home, we tried to figure out which episode was shot at Cole’s and the internet turned up NOTHING.  Absolutely nothing whatsoever.  It is like I have finally found the aporia in the internet’s knowledge.  And it’s really distressing, too, because I obviously was going to immediately watch the episode in question.  Instead, it appears that I will have to watch every episode from Season 6 (which was when filming moved to LA) on, in order to find the Cole’s episode.  Alas, what a hardship.  (Actually, given the dark years of Seasons 8-9, it might be a bit of a hardship.)

    In the absence of the Cole’s episode, however, we watched 3, the Mulder-has-sex-with-a-vampire-and-it’s-awkward episode from Season 2.  I knew it was set in LA, but I couldn’t remember if it was filmed in LA.  I obviously hadn’t watched it since before I moved here, because, dude, you only have to spend one day in this city to realize that 3 is set in Vancouver pretending to be LA, and it is SO FUNNY.  And also, we made up a new game, called Look Up The Addresses That Mulder and Scully are Supposed To Be At in Google Maps and See What’s Actually There.  So, what we found out is that “Club Tepes,” the bar that’s like Club Abstract but is worse, where Mulder totally hits on Gross Vampire Lady, is approximately located where the Alexander McQueen store is on Melrose, and the mansion in Malibu where they eventually end up is actually located in a tunnel, which really is kind of remarkable given how few tunnels there are here in Los Land of Earthquakes.

    Anyhow, sorry.  I will stop X-Filesing for now.

    DONUTS!  Donut King II donuts were, you know, donuts.  The real revolution came the next morning, when I decided to heat up a plain ol’ glazed donut that had gotten slightly stale in a frying pan – the glaze carmelized and it got all crispy and amazing.  BETTER BREAKFAST THROUGH SCIENCE!  I am telling you.

    Anyhow, at some point in the course of Wednesday Night Adventuring, it was decided that I would start a new blog feature, called Word of the Week, in which I define a word.  This week’s word is MIRACLE.  Here is the definition of miracle:  A miracle is when you think you’re all out of gin, but then you realize you have an entire other bottle in the cupboard.  MIRACLE.

    Here is a picture of me, chillaxing at Donut King II with a Vanilla Dip:

    donut queen

    And here is a picture of the giant donut, in which I tried to capture it’s awe-inspringness:

    donut king

    And also, we returned to Mr. T’s Meat Market, and here it is in non-blurry glory:

    mrt

    And here is a drive in liquor store, which seems, you know, very sensible:

    drive in

    And here is the sign welcoming you with a pip, pip, cheerio to Canterbury Knolls, Los Angeles’ least likely named neighbourhood (ie:  there are no knolls, and also, it is in the shitty part of Los Angeles, not England):

    canterbury

    And Sunday we might go to La Puente.  Which is somewhere.  I don’t actually know where.  But what I do know, is that it is home to this majestic work of architechtural genius:

    donut-hole


  2. Breaking Fox Mulder news!

    October 17, 2008 by ms. xandra

    David Duchovny and Tea Leoni have gone splitsville!  Oh, David.  I’m here for you.  Anytime.  No, really, ANY TIME.


  3. Dear Santa,

    September 28, 2008 by ms. xandra

    Is it too early for this?  No way.  It’s never too early to write to Santa. I’ve actually  been composing a blog post about how really upset the concurrent election campaigns in Canada and the US are making me (so upset that I have been waking up with weird stomach cramps) but I can only spend about two minutes at a time on it because otherwise I go plummeting into despair.  So to distract myself from despair, I have composed the following list entitled “What I want for Christmas, 2008 Edition.”

    1.  A Nigella Lawson cookbook.   Either How to Eat or Nigella Express, but preferably Nigella Express because it has more pictures and we all know that the entire point of cookbooks is FOOD PORN.  (Yesss!  And now I will get a hundred hits to my blog from people googling for pornography featuring naked ladies covered in food.  Hello, creepy weirdos!  Thank you for making the internet a wildly uncomfortable place!)

    2.  A citrus reamer like the one my mom got from the Pampered Chef.  Not only is it perfect for margarita making, it also serves double-duty as a self-defense device because it weighs approximately 57 pounds.

    3.  A pair of really good headphones.

    4.  A solution to my boy problem (problem being:  boys exist and are stupid but I still want to make out with them) that does not involve celibacy.

    5.  A North America presided over by a team of kind, fair, benevolent, intelligent, democratically elected Philosopher Monarch-type people who just happen to agree with and enforce all of my opinions.

    6.  Another new X-Files movie.  One that isn’t TERRIBLE.  I know it is possible.  I just watched Jose Chung’s From Outer Space.  I know it is possible.

    7.  Somebody to go out dancing with.  I miss going dancing with my Sassyladyfriends.

    8.  UNICORN.  (Item 8 could also be combined with Item 7:  A unicorn to go out dancing with.  That would be quite acceptable.)

    I know I can count on you, Santa!  Don’t let me down!

    Yours,

    Xandra A.


  4. Mermaids! X-Files! (What else is new?)

    September 12, 2008 by ms. xandra

    Oh, the internet is the greatest thing.  The internet allows me to transmit my hopes and dreams into a series of tubes, and then, on rare, sparkling occasions, actually finds people on the other end of those tubes who manage make my dreams come true.  Once upon a time, I said on this blog, “gee, I wish I had a ticket for that sold-out B-52s concert,” and then, lo-and-behold, a member of the Grammy committee and friend of the late, great John Peel had one with my name on it.  Once upon a two-days-ago, I said, “gee, I wish I had a ‘Mermaids for Layton’ button,” and just look at what that boy of Tanya’s slapped together for me:

    Amazing.

    Today I saw a bus that still had a lonely-looking X-Files 2 ad on it!  And it reminded me of those halcyon days preceeding the 25th of July, 2008, when we still had hope.  Hope that the X-Files movie would be not terrible.  Ah yes, I remember those days.  Those days before the world was introduced to Fox “Scratchy Beard” Mulder.  Those days before our dreams were shattered by a movie about Russian doctors harvesting people’s organs.  But at least we will always have Mulder and Scully in a rowboat.  Forever.

    And also there are funny billboards with David Duchovny’s face on them all over the city, advertising the new season of Californication.  Apparently he won the Golden Globe for best actor for the last season, which seems highly improbable because, well, who knew anyone was watching that show?  Even I wasn’t, and Fox Mulder is my second-best friend!  (Dana Scully is my first-best friend, and Walter Skinner is my third-best friend.  And Diana Fowley is my Number Two Worst Enemy, right after Karl Lagerfeld.)  So as I contemplated David Duchovny’s face as my bus was stopped at a red light on Sunset today, I got to thinking.  I have been living in Los Angeles for an entire year, and I have yet to even make out with David Duchovny, Sex Addict.  (An aside:  Why is it that in the media coverage of David’s sex addiction not one person has mentioned the scene in Trust the Man where David actually goes to Sex Addicts Anonymous and says “I am a sex addict.  I enjoy rubbing cold cuts all over my naked body”?  Oh, wait:  because nobody else saw that movie.)  Clearly I need to up my game.  So, in the interests of upping my game,  I have purchased an eyelash curler and have started referring to my bathroom exclusively as the “Powder Room.”  How these two things will succeed in helping me to up my game has yet to be determined. But, you know, good things come to those with very curly eyelashes who wait in powder rooms.  Or something.


  5. Look, David Duchovny.

    August 28, 2008 by ms. xandra

    I think we can work things out.  Together.  Just you and I.